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Heartbreak - Diary of a Sex Educator

on Jul 3, 2013 | Diary of a Sex Educator Adolescent health Sex ed Sexual Health STDs/STIs | 0 comments

My heart broke today for a young girl, alone in her bedroom, fearful that she was pregnant from giving a boy a blowjob. Even though I told her all the facts and that she was no risk for pregnancy, she kept crying. I was confused. I’ve never encountered a situation where facts didn’t help. I’m sure she felt better knowing she was safe but information was only half of what she needed. She needed a friend. A hand to hold. She was young (around 12/13) and was experiencing sexual touch with another person for the first time and it seemed to overwhelm her. I was shocked with how unequipped I was to convince her that everything was going to be okay. I’ve realized that I’ve gotten too attached to facts and figures. People are not facts and figures. The people on the other side of the phone are you and me and while every person’s sexual experiences are unique, we have all felt vulnerable and scared. I wonder how much society and our sexually restrictive culture has contributed to her fear and misinformation. I wonder how many other young girls are in the exact situation in their bedrooms across the country. I wonder what it would take to cultivate a more understood and educated generation of young women. 

I would like everyone to ponder this question: What can I do as a parent, friend, teacher, mentor to contribute to this child’s life to make them more sexually healthy?  What can I specifically do or stop doing? Taking an active part in a child’s sexual health may sound taboo to you but it is worth the few awkward starter conversations. After a while, you will become more comfortable talking about sexual health.  Remember, sexual health is not just about sex! It’s about basic anatomy, body image, healthy relationships, and much more.  We all have an innate sexuality that we should not be scared of but accept and cherish. Your loved one will most likely want to have sexual experiences one day and it’s important that they have all the facts! It will be worth it! Talk to them! And if it’s always awkward, at least they have the information. 

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