Five Things You Should Know about Herpes

September 3, 2014 434 Comments

Diary of a Sex EducatorAs most of my calls here at ASHA are about genital herpes, I thought I’d clear the air. TV shows, movies, and society as a whole create this stigma around herpes when really, there’s not too much to be scared of. Most of the time, genital herpes is a mild skin condition that can be managed very effectively.

  1. It is estimated that 1 out of 6 people have genital herpes. About 90% of them don’t know it.
  2. Herpes (oral & genital) cannot be spread through inanimate objects such as spoons, glasses, razors, towels, bed sheets, etc. Herpes can only be passed through direct skin-to-skin contact with the infected area such as kissing, oral sex, genital-to-genital rubbing, vaginal, and anal sex.
  3. Herpes (both oral & genital) can be spread even when there are no symptoms or sores. This is called asymptomatic shedding. Suppressive antiviral therapy significantly reduces asymptomatic shedding (and outbreaks). Valacyclovir taken daily can reduce risk of transmission to a partner by as much as 50%.
  4. Herpes is a very manageable skin condition and does not cause any damage to internal organs.
  5. People with herpes have very normal romantic and sexual relationships. After diagnosis, you may feel like your life may never be the same again but you will feel better soon. There are countless online communities and support groups for you with people who’ve been in your shoes.

—Emily Duberman


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  1. Jose says:

    I recently found out that I have type 1 Herpes. I just started seeing a girl, recently. What’s the best way to prevent myself from spreading it? Am I not allowed to kiss? Or have sex anymore?

    • Anonymous says:

      M maybe tell her so she can decide

      • Anonymous says:

        Is there an over the counter medicine?

        • Anonymous says:

          Never have oral sex

        • Anonymous says:

          Im 21 and just found out today that i am positive for herpes.Am i scared. yes!! I dont know how im going to tell my mother. I want to cry.i didnt think nothing of it until the burning started so i went in to get checked and thats when i found out.

          • Anonymous says:

            Where did you get tested?

          • Anonymous says:

            I find out 2013 all you need to do is take a day at a time it will get better hun.dont stress about you may have a breakout, my family still dont know any they would never know.

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m 19, and I got herpes from a boy that I trusted. But it’s good to be honest with your parents and I’m pretty sure they will be supportive.

          • Ashely says:

            I found out I have one and two, and have never experienced symptoms or outbreaks. I’m not sure how I obtained it, my only guess is my cheating exhusband. For years through the military we often yearly get tested. I feel like this result was in error due to never experiencing symptoms.. Can this be possible?

            I am also writing for advice/support.. I feel very insecure and dirty now. It’s on my mind daily, I haven’t even picked up the medication yet due to embarrassment. And i fear that since symptoms have not shown up, will taking the meds possibly cause a reaction? Ive had to have had it for a year now, I haven’t been with anyone and that’s the last time I had a negative test up until 2 weeks ago.

          • C says:

            I was terrified to tell my mom. She is the meanest person I know. But my mom was very understanding and she loves me regardless. I had to because i am insured under her. If anything it made our relationship better and now i feel like she actually cares

          • Anonymous says:

            There’s really no reason to tell your mother in my opinion

          • Anonymous says:

            How long did it take. To get systems

          • Anonymous says:

            You don’t have to tell your mother

          • Anonymous says:

            Your mother will probably understand more the then you think. I thought my mom would be mad, but it turned out and already knew about herpes and gave me support

        • Anonymous says:

          There is NOT a cure for herpes! The people telling you that there is a cure are trying to sell you something and it is a scam. However, there are several clinical trials going on looking for a cure. peoplewithherpes.o r g They have other great information there and more information about the clinical trials going on. They also have a great dating & community area for people with herpes. They put up a new blog once or twice a month about what is going on in the herpes world. I def recommend subscribing to their blog to get help.

          • Anonymous says:

            Great advice!!! I’ve been dealing with this and feeling horrible wanting to know where to go what to do. Hearing there are clinical trials going on sheds some light there may be light at the end of this painful disease! That comment made my day!

        • Anonymous says:

          There is

      • I have herpes and I’m scared really scared

        • dee says:

          I just found out . Put your trust in God don’t stress

        • Sherrie says:

          It’s ok Adrianna, I know it seems so scary but you will be very much ok, this is something that happens to so many people and it is easily controlled. Take a deep breath it’s ok and know that you are ok.

        • Anonymous says:

          How did you know

        • Liz says:

          Adrianna and other “newbies”–
          This is a very livable disease, and you won’t have sores all the time. My husband and I have had herpes since the 1980’s. You will discover that you may feel like you have a mild flu (sore muscles and joints, maybe slightly elevated temperature) when an outbreak is coming. The sores can take about 7-10 days to develop and then go away. Stress can bring them on. They won’t always be the same intensity–sometimes just a small set of sore, other times worse. You can use one of the mild cold sore topicals to ease irritation and oral meds Acyclovir or Valtrex will help ease symptoms.
          Don’t be scared.

      • Anonymous says:

        Yes, tell her. She needs to be sure about herpes.

      • Maya says:

        My situation is even worst. Someone convinced me to have sex but I didn’t want happen and today he said his lower back and legs are in pain so much. I’m really scared of him catching anything from me. I’m dying .I wasn’t in a situation to have sex cuz it was my first time seein him.he just waned to have sex and I didn’t know whas to do.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I’ve never shown any symptoms and neither has he. I think I have herpes but I’m not sure. I’m too scared to go to a doctor what can I do?? Please help.

      • Anonymous says:

        Go to the hospital and ask to go get checked by a gynocoligist, it’s confidential

      • Anonymous says:

        Go get seen. I’ve been with mine for almost three years and went to the hospital cause of bad pain. Turns out I ha e herpes. I honestly don’t understand how basically out of nowhere I stated showing signs for it. It’s better to know if you have it but hard dealing with it..

        • Gina says:

          Did they give you anything for your outbreak or help at all? Im experiencing bad anus pain with herpes and i dont know how to soothe the oain and im ready to head there

          • Anonymous says:

            All I can say is just call your doctor he or she will explain what type of pill you may need. I have it in my doc have me a pill I have take twice a day with a meal. The main thing is don’t stress, it causes outbreaks

          • Anonymous says:

            Got given acyclovir for mine. Just been told i have hsv2 so depressed

          • Kiley says:

            I used gold bond itching relief it burned but soothed with cooling after. I had the same problem. I have type 1 though.

          • Anonymous says:

            How do I know if I have it like I don’t have blisters but on my penis its like I have a redness and peeling like but that’s almost like it’s acting like a sunburn I’m scared someone please clarify

          • Anonymous says:

            I use hydrocortisone. And mix 2 tablespoons of olive oil with a few drops of tea tree oil. It soothes the burning, itching and pain quite a bit.

          • Anonymous says:

            Take the meds they give you. I take mine everyday & it keeps my outbreaks from showing up. 2 years with my fiancee and no protection. He is clean

          • Anonymous says:

            I have been single for 4 years I got sick with a bad pain in my right side went to the gynecologist and she didn’t give me anything for the pain but to do a test and come back to her I got the test done and had to wait for a week to get back the result when I did get it back I found out that I have herpes type 2 I was so scared up to now I’m still scared about it I feel very dirty and my life was going so good and now I’m not even thinking straight what should I do….

          • Rachel says:

            I’ve had type 2 for quite some time now. Living a good life. The only issues i have is when im depressed or stressed i will have an outbreak but they rarely come like only 2 or 3 times a year. As soon as i feel an outbreak coming i use coconut oil and i’m free of it in 3 days or less depending on when i use it. Everyone take a deep breath i understand it all. Cried for months, lost friends who wanted to blab their mouth about it and everything in between. The main thing is to protect yourself and stay healthy and stress free. I have and im about to have a baby soon. You can do it too

          • Abby Deen says:

            Call the doctor and follow up with him so that he/she can prescribe you Valtrex. It should reduce your outbreaks 100% however the virus is with you forever so it will be transmitted through oral sex.

          • Anonymous says:

            Zinc oxide does wonders for males and females. Also taking lysine and zinc Otc works. The meds doctors gives you helps when you have a breakout but diaper ointment (zinc oxide) is very helpful

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m in my first outbreak now and have found a regimen that reduced my pain greatly and started healing my lesions within 24 hours. 1) clean area with apple cider vinegar after urination. 2) apply minced garlic to lesions. Garlic has strong antiviral properties (I have also been ingesting garlic orally). 3) Make a mixture of pure,raw,unfiltered honey and pure virgin coconut oil and apply liberally to lesions. Must use raw, unfiltered honey. Repeat steps 1-3 as needed.

        • Anonymous says:

          Me too. I feel like hell some days……

          • Anonymous says:

            People have burning problems I dont have any of that I’ve been with herpes for 3years now.not much outbreaks but i get hives alot wacth out for that everyone

        • Jim says:

          What did you do? I’m in that boat.. My wife came up with it. I got tested 2 times 6 months apart and I don’t have it.. Don’t know what to do or think.. Did she cheat?

          • Anonymous says:

            No, she could have had it for years and never showed symptoms. My boyfriend has it and only knew through a blood test. He’s never had an outbreak and was diagnosed over 2years ago. They told him he could’ve had it for years already too.

      • Anonymous says:

        I did not know that I had herpes type II. I wasn’t feeling well and decided to go to the doctor. My boyfriend took me. Once I got the results, I was afraid to tell him. I felt insecure and dirty, so we did not have sex for a week. He noticed the difference in me and asked me, “what’s wrong.” I told him. He was very supportive. We are still together. He tells me he loves me everyday. What I am trying to say is that if your partner loves you and understands you and is aware and does the research, then he or she will stay with you and support you.

        • Anonymous says:

          I literally just got a call finding out I have herpes type 2 (genital). I got tested back in December & when the nurse pulled that up to see if I had it then, they tested for everything BUT herpes? Why would they do that?! Don’t they still have the blood to test it again &see? I haven’t shown symptoms or had my first outbreak I don’t think considering its described to be terrible! This time blood test came back w/ everything negative except for herpes & I was told I needed a booster on my hep B shot…I went in for a pelvic exam & urine, in which I had a little discharge & a buildup of bacteria. Currently taking metronidozale(?) or flagyl for bv…which I’ve been on before sometime last year. Is it possible that that this will turn into an outbreak?! Have also had ingrown hair (although I’ve suffered from that as long as I can remember) but have recently been increasing. I’m having to pee all time but having to force myself to pee! It’s hasn’t been happening anymore, but some weeks ago it was burning to wipe, not to pee at all, but to wipe! I also have some anal bumps, which aren’t big &, don’t hurt but simply just there! Also, will I automatically spread it during sex…or only when I’m having an outbreak? I know this is long but I just need answers! Nurse told me since I haven’t had an outbreak, if I’m not sexually active I don’t necessarily need to take medication, but of course I’m not going to be sexually active after just finding this out!! The only person that loves me and cares for me enough to stick w/ me through this with me is in jail & honestly he’s who I think I got it from, considering last year I was getting blood work done because of him anyways…but why would everything be tested for but herpes?! I can’t even assume my love (who’s locked up & it’s been awhile) gave it to me b/c it could’ve very well been the new guy I was trying w/ to start something w? But how can I know?!! I feel like I’ve actually had it & was just being misdiagnosed or it was too early to tell, maybe that’s why it wasn’t even tested for? Ugh…I’m already a naturally anxious & depressed person…I do not know what to do next or how to tell either one of them although I think it’ll be a lot easier telling my baby that’s locked up..I don’t even know if I should tell my mom!!

          • Anon says:

            &also she told me she can’t even tell me if I’ve had it for awhile or just recently got it! In these last couple of months. Which really sucks b/c I can’t even say who gave it to me then!

          • Anonymous says:

            Just be strong you will get through it

          • Anonymous says:

            I knew within a week of catching it. My man cheated & 5 days later i was in the ER with positive herpes tests. It hurt like HELL. like my vagina was on fire. Please tell me i am not alone.

          • Anonymous says:

            When do your boyfriend get outta jail? And how are you gonna tell him

          • Ann. says:

            I can relate with you on this. I just found out that i also have herpes. I also have a bf that is locked up & I don’t know how to tell him. He’s in there for a while… But still. What I am confused about… Is it still ok to kiss someone even if you don’t have an outbreak or symptoms? Can it spread?

          • Anonymous says:

            Well sweetie depending on when they told you that you had they should have also informed you that you would’ve gotten sick a few weeks after your first encounter so depending on how long he been locked up and how long you been with the other guy cause the way I see it is that when they test us they test for everything and for you to say that it didn’t show up in December that means you didn’t have it then just do your research

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes you can give it to anyone that you have sex with even if you don’t have sores. Its in your body. If you both have it if you’re not careful and are stressed it just continues to go back and forth. I het the dirty party but we made a mistake and now we have to live with it. My bf gave it to me and I had no idea until I went to doctor. They didn’t test for it at first either. Just what they do. Its usually all the other curable stds not this devil that never goes away. I still have anger towards him it’s very painful for us women. 1st outbreak was unreal. Couldn’t urinate with crying you have to desperate your labia when you urinate helps with pain. Whereever your sore is keep away from urine. Use zinc oxide aka diaper rash and put on sores. Helps and goes away quicker. You can also have an outbreak inside your vaginal walls. You can put cream in there too. Helps..its awful and some people never break out some do. Take it day by day and you will soon forget until that is you get a breakout or start a new relationship. Remember how some of us got here. The other didn’t know or chose not to say anything. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew and gave this to someone.

          • Anonymous says:

            Tell your mom and family they will be supportive I am naturally anxious and depressed as well and honestly the worst thing is not knowing once you do there are ways to help yourself and the person you are intimate with

        • Anonymous says:

          My bf of 5 yrs Told me he cheated on me 3 weeks ago. He had to due to testing positive for herpes 1 and 2 and Chlamydia. But can a blood test be accurate for just 3 weeks. Or did he have it all along?

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes tests can be accurate after three weeks of sexual contact. It only takes 1-3 days to find out if you have an STI. Chlamydia test results are available on the same day you take the test, depending on how quick your clinic can determine that.

          • Laura, RN says:

            It takes 6 weeks for herpes to show up on a blood test. However, if he had a swab test of the herpes sores the test would be accurate regardless of how long he has had herpes. Chlamydia can take up to 3 weeks to show up on a test but can show up after a few days.

        • Anonymous says:

          So true

        • Shanon says:

          How do you deal with this emotionally and can you have a normal sex life with herpes

        • Angela says:

          I wish u weren’t anonymous so I can ask u some personal question as I have trouble with helping my partner get it’s not as bad as he thinks.

          • Kevin says:

            Guys freak out at first too just like women probably would. I dont know your age or sexual history but if he’s had sex with multiple women then he’s probably got it anyway. There’s hpv and hsv and with hpv men cant even get tested. There is no test. Its more probable than not statistically if you’ve slept with 4-5 women you have some form of herpes symptoms or no symptoms you still have it.

          • kk123 says:

            Angela you can contact me I’m in the same boat but probably little worse seeing I had NO idea I had hsv2 until 5 days ago and just got married 12 days ago so depressed world upside down

        • Anonymous says:

          Well how did you did get it?? I was cheated on

        • Anonymous says:

          You are so lucky.

        • Anonymous says:

          That was helpful

        • Anonymous says:

          I just found out I have hsv-2 . I’m feeling insecure about my sex life and ashamed and embarrassed. I told my bf and he is beyond supportive. If I may ask, do you guys use condoms now 24/7?? OR Only When An Outbreak occurs?? I am just trying to figure things out. Thank u

        • Anonymous says:

          That is very true I kept having really bad back pain and was even in the hospital for it for four days when I got out I went to
          Obgyn and got test and I had herpesvirus 1 & 2 I’m still scared don’t know what to think just found out yesterday this back pain is horrible and very tired

        • o says:

          I know I sound so ignorant, but can’t you spread it just by kissing, especially if with tongue and biting. I’m really scared after a recent thing that happened and now have no one to ask this kind of thing

        • Anonymous says:

          Do you always have sex with a condom now that you have herpes?

          • Anonymous says:

            Sometimes I use condoms with my boyfriend and sometimes we don’t. To be safe I would say use one but talk to your partner and get their opinion and go from there

      • Jim says:

        I used an online service that tested 10 different STDs. I don’t have insurance, and it cost me a little over $300 dollars. It was very private. I did not know that I was infected with HSV1 and HSV2…now I do and understand what has been going on with my body for the first time. Don’t be afraid. The worst that can happen is that you know you have it and need suppression therapy.

      • Anonymous says:

        Not a big deal

      • anonymous says:

        I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years. When we first met it was about 8 months before we had sex. I thought he was gay lol. He finally told me after almost a year being together that he had herpes. I thought I would of been freaked out but surprisingly I wasn’t. By this time I was already in love with him. I told him I was fine with it as long as we used condoms all the time. It’s been 8 years and I’m totally fine. He hasn’t had an outbreak in almost 3 years. Don’t get me wrong, I do panic a bit when we have sex, because I’m thinking what if the condom breaks or comes off. So far we’re fine, and i see my GYN every six months. I will tell anyone this. If you are faced with a situation like this, just try and imagine how you would feel if it happened to you. i don’t think it’s easy for anyone who has this to just come out and say it. But I commend the ones that do, and who have respect for their partner.

        • Anonymous says:

          Can your partner get it without either one of you never having an outbreak

        • Teagz says:

          As someone who has oral herpes it kinda pisses me off he didnt tell you for a year that is how I got my wonderful friend. He didnt want to tell me afraid of what I would say but him not saying anything gave it to me. You should always be up front with someone your dating. I wish I had the choice instead of just one day waking up with it and then he tryed to say I gave it to him but later fessed up that he had it and didnt didn’t want to lose me but that’s what happened in the I couldn’t forgive him for not at least letting me choose what was right for me it was like he was waiting for me to catch it and then hoping I wouldn’t leave because who would want me now. I don’t agree with him not telling you up front it’s a hard conversation. But as someone who didnt have the choice I always let them know before we even have our first kiss and yeah I have had a lot of heartache and been called some really mean stuff but I still do it.

          • Anonymous says:

            Studies have consistently found that up to 80% of us (4 out of 5) will get oral herpes eventually, and about 90% of us that get it won’t know it. And doctors won’t test for it even when people request full STI screenings. So although it’s noble for you to warn your dates that you have it odds are that your just stressing them out without good reason because your dates most likely already have it too.

        • Sally says:

          If you say skin to skin contact that affects you how do you still have sex with a condom

      • Tonya says:

        I been married for 21 years. I just found out a year ago that my husband has herpes. He have had them for 10 years. I wanted to hurt him when I found out. I went to the hospital they told me it wasn’t a emergency. So I went to a clinic it took 4 days for me to fine out. My heart hit the floor. I never had any signs

        • Rhees says:

          I have been with my partner for 8 years and just had an outbreak and found out it was herpes. I don’t know if I had it all along or recently got it somehow I know he didn’t cheat and I know I didn’t but I do know I had multiple partners 8 years ago and have heard rumors a couple of them were infected..I am so overwhelmed and in so much pain

      • Anonymous says:

        I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. And just found out that I have hsv 2 I’m not sure where it’s came from. We have a 5 month old baby and it has just popped up now . Both me and my boyfriend have been faithful to eachother. One of us must have had the virus dormant in us for a long time. He was completely understanding and supportive. I understand how the thought of telling him seems scary, but once we got it on the table everything worked out fine and we are able to just work out live around this annoying thing. Also I’ve always been prone to yeast infections. So when I’ve had those we abstain from sex. So he is already used to having sex for a week or two…. It’s no big deal really. If he loves u it will be fine. If he leaves well he never truly cared about u.

      • Anonymous says:

        Go to your woman’s clinic at the hospital–it’s a drop-in so no need for an appointment. I have been with someone for 2 years and also just found out, but dumped him .

      • Anonymous says:

        Did you go to the doctors?

        • Jimmy Dean says:

          I’m a physician and I was recently diagnosed with herpes. A close friend of mine who is also a physician and trusted gave me herpes. I always used protection and we had been intimate for sometime. She decided to be wreckless without telling me and since my life has changed. I find it difficult to counsel patients when I constantly feel in a depressed state myself. I’m not my normal self and I always look at myself different as well as women. I know the data behind everything but its different when you’re actually in your in the same chair. I take daily suppressive therapy and tea tree oil which keeps everything in check. I havent really dated since of the stigma.

          • anonymous says:

            What are all of the symptoms? I went to the er bcuz i broke out, it felt like a horrible rash inside and out! I didn’t c any bumps or what not but i was in a lot of pain, mainly just when i urinated. It stung. The dr did a pelvic exam but it was so overly swollen it was hard for him to tell. When he did the exam and swab i cried my eyes out. He said he was ” pretty sure ” it was herpes.Is there any chance of it being something else??! I dont know how to feel or even know who gave it to me. I’m so hurt and i couldn’t do anything but cry. How does anyone live with this type of thing and how do they NOT yet have a cure for this??!! Please help me with my problem.

          • Anonymous says:

            I heard alternative medicine helps cure it….Olive leaf….is that true

          • Anonymous says:

            Wow, know it’s hard. I have been positive for 9 yrs now. Me, an MA. Seen right so many STD stuff come in and just in everyday Dx in charts. Didn’t even want to date for a while an met what I thought was a special guy and talked about hey like I’m clean and don’t want nothing and explained how soo much stuff is out there and asked if he was tested and of course lied. Well, later got type 2 and he still denied it later, of course. Keep focused on helping others. Don’t let it ruin you. Know it is soo hard at first. One day, you will become a better understanding physician and help more with emotional aspects. Would like to stay in touch on occasion about living with this as a person in medical. Strange, no one responded to your comment. We are just like anyone else…This can unfortunately happen to anyone. Just be grateful we don’t have aides. Everyone from here on out, don’t trust no one with a talk. Get tested together before sex. Just think, they may say they have nothing and are worrried about catching herpes from you, but who knows what they may have or not. Surely don’t need anymore!!!!

          • Anonymous says:

            I feel your pain I was diagnosed a few days ago, but when I had my first outbreak I did the same. I’ve been taking my meds everyday since and I too used tea tree oil as well. It works great!

      • Anonymous says:

        Well you would have to have visible bumps to think its herpes since you Dont know nor have symptoms.. A doctor wont check you for it unless you have an outbreak

      • Anonymous says:

        For almost five years i did not see any sign of herpes, my is very simple and small, i see it every three or six month after frequently sex, I take the pill my doctor prescribe for seven days but after five days it vanish. my boyfriend do not know, the spray happen went he is working over seas and because is so simple i did not even think is important to tell him.

      • Anonymous says:

        Go to doctor and dont worrie.i cry and cry but you will be oh okay.I’ve been with it since 2013 if you do just take care of yourself hun.

      • Anonymous says:

        Go to the doctor to be certain. It’s scary but with support from one person you really trust you will get through it.

    • asher says:

      I’m in the same position….and i really like this guy.

      • Anonymous says:

        I have been diagnosed with type2.. It’s really hard to deal with considering im only 19… My boyfriend of 5 years cheated with 10 different females and I should have just left but with a heart as big as mine I chose to stay and now I have this .. The craziest thing is I never cheated.

        • Anonymous says:

          Everything will be all right.

        • Anonymous says:

          I’m 21 myself. I know you probably never saw it coming. You can’t blame yourself. Everything will be okay.

          • Anonymous says:

            I’m 21 also just found out today forshure I had it.. But I’ve had symptoms for a week and prayed to God to help me get through it and be strong. I know we’re young still and have a whole life ahead of us and how we’re going to deal with having herpes for the rest of our lives. I’m not sure how often I’ll get outbreaks. I’m going to drink water continue working out and eat a lot of fruits and veggies like my doc said. i found out today got the courage to tell my mom because what she thinks matters the most to me. And she was dissapointed in me but family will always love you no matter what

        • Anonymous says:

          Im only 19 as well & got told I have genital herpes too. We’ve been having sex for over a year now & my results came in positive today. He’s been the only one I’ve had sex with & hes had multiple women before me. He tells me we’ll get through this together & I love him but sometimes I wish we never met.

          • Anonymous says:

            I am 51 and never had any symptoms and then the love of my life told me he tested possitive for herpes. We were on a break up and he said that back in october he slept with someone. We havent had sex, but i went and got myself checked. I understand it could lay dormant for 10yrs. I am scared, because perhaps i gave it to him. I called my ex and told him… he has never had any symptoms. I am praying. But i love this man.

        • Anonymous says:

          Im in the same boat… 19 and scared out of my mind.. i feel like i cant date anyone ever again..

    • Anonymous says:

      Everybody has HSV-1. Or at least 90% of people. Get over it!!!

      • Cindy Lauper says:

        Not everyone has this virus. Don’t be ignorant and dont tell people to get over it, it’s something some people have to live with on a daily. Go read a book troll monster.

        • S says:

          Read all the information about HSV2 on CDC website and any person who has HSV2 are two to four times at risk of getting HIV

        • Anonymous says:

          Actually, what he/she is saying is correct. If you read up on studies it has been determined that 60-90% of the population has been infected with HSV1. So, essentially, almost everyone has it. Maybe not all of the people show symptoms but that doesn’t detract from the fact that they are infected. Also, a very large percentage doesn’t even know it,exactly because they are asymptomatic.

          In any case, it’s ridiculous to stress over getting oral herpes, as it’s just a prevalent virus. Many people (myself included) have gotten it at a very young age, because kids always like to put stuff in their mouth, come to contact with other (infected) kids or adults (relatives) etc. At the end of the day, not having it doesn’t make you some sort of pure and sanitized person, you are just lucky not to have it..yet.

          What’s more, I would consider someone that gets oral herpes at a young age somewhat lucky because they don’t have to deal with this ridiculous social stigma of the “slut”. Additionally, you build up antibodies that can help you resist HSV2 and, maybe most importantly, it allows you to have a normal sex life because since most people have HSV1 they can’t get re-infected by you (e.g you can’t get HSV1 genital herpes through oral sex) and freak out on you.

          HSV2 is another deal and although it’s essentially the same thing as HSV1, for strictly social etiquette reasons, you may want to inform your partner.

          • Anonymous says:

            I recently found out someone I’m close to has herpes. I’ve lived with them at one point. I don’t show any symptoms other itchy vaginal area . I’ve slept with 2 guys with the year and they don’t show any symptoms either. I have no pain and no bump I have razor burn though. Is is possible I have it?

        • e says:

          right not everyone has it but a great many people do. and many people who get “cold sores” do not realize it is herpes. and then they pass it to others. people need education about this. not name calling that they are TROLLS. hsv-1 is not as bad, but it is still herpes. everyone needs to be careful, regardless of what simplex they have.

      • Anonymous says:


      • Anonymous says:

        90% of the population DOES NOT have herpes! It’s 90% of infected people don’t know they have it. Learn your math if there are 100 people in a room that means 1 out of every 6 have it. Out of every 1 person that has it only 10% of them know they have it the other 90% do not know! Get it!

      • Anonymous says:

        Get over it!! Easier said than done . I just found out I’ve herpes n to me my life is over! How dare u say just get over it!!!!!

      • N/A says:

        Not everyone shows signs. Those people have no idea what we’re dealing with.

      • Anonymous says:

        That is for sure

    • Anonymous says:

      I have herpes type 1 and I haven’t passed it on to my partner. I think you should be fine. I do think you should talk to your doctor about it. He or she will give you the best answer.

    • Anonymous says:

      You can spread herpes more easily to her then she can you, you need to tell her. It’s a very hard thing to do and as long and as you just received news, its doing whats right. If you don’t tell her soon it will just get harder and harder and put a huge damper on your relationship. Tell her how much you care and let her know how hard it is, I am sure if she is the right one she will understand.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve had type 1 since i was a child. Rarely do I get cold sores, but only when I am dehydrated and super unhealthy. I can feel a cold sore coming but I can zap it if take care of myself right away.

      • Sarah says:

        What do u mean zap it? I haven’t been diagnosed but I have a bump that’s tender so I’m just trying to do some research.

        • Anonymous says:

          This s a late reply, but by ‘zap it’ I meant drinking water and getting rest. Really, that works, but I think it is because my body knows how to deal with it now. If it does start to flare up, carmex seems to work like some kind of instant miracle overs me in less than a day.

    • Anonymous says:

      You can kiss, kissing doesn’t do anything.. Having sex, just use condoms and it’s the same. Make sure you tell her you have them before having intercourse.

    • jennifer says:

      My bf got herpes and he said that I gave it to him and I don’t have it on me that will show that i have it. I saw that my bf got the results saying he got it months back and we haven’t had sex for a while because of it. I’m scared that if I have another relationship in the future what should I do? Not have sex ever so I can be protect myself and others so it can be safe or what?

      • Anonymous says:

        We have the same problem, but the case on me is I go to see my obgyn to check if I had herpes cause my bf found he has, when I get the result of laboratory exam my obgyn says they never seen herpes on me and its negative. Now I’m still worry and not know what should I do cause they says herpes cannot seen that on microscope. Even the obgyn says you not have herpes don’t be assured with that cause there is no symptoms of herpes on your body.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have a question doctor told me I have herpes but its not from sex and I can still have sex and not pass it on. It’s that true it could be something like that.

    • Unknown says:

      My husband have it it like little burn around is penis he alway itching. But I love him I have but it Don show nothing I just have a baby.

    • e says:

      hsv-1 is essentially “normal”…….it’s the “cold sore” version of herpes. hsv-2 is the genital herpes version. dont freak out. regardless, you need to be careful and do not engage in any oral or sexual contact with people until the sores have healed.

    • Anonymous says:

      You can kiss. You need to use a condom to prevent spreading. It does not spread by touching things.

    • Anonymous says:

      I thought the same thing. But you should tell her, and if she really likes you, she would stand by you no matter what.But my doctor has helped me throughout this depression. Yes, you can still kiss and you can also still have sex but you have to be EXTREMELY careful and take your meds when it is time too.

    • Anonymous says:

      Herpes wont travel in saliva so u can kiss

    • Anonymous says:

      Unless you intend to make a serious commitment, leave her alone. Health is too precious to be compromised for a brief encounter.

    • Anonymous says:

      Please don’t listen to what anyone else says. I am a nurse and I know about hsv1. About 90% of the human population carries the hsv1 virus for oral herpes. It is absolutely ok to kiss people as well as have oral sex as long as you are not having a cold sore outbreak. However you should inform any partners of your status

    • Anonymous says:

      herpes is hard to live with. any outbreak sore is a herpes.eyes mouth penius.

  2. tab says:

    I had a outbreak in my vaginal area but got tested for herpes came back negative is it possible I had it before with no outbreaks or did my boyfriend now cold sore cause it

    • Jennifer says:

      It can take a while for your body to build up enough antibodies for a blood test once you’ve been infected. Unless you had the sores swabbed and tested during the outbreak, it’s hard to know if it was a false negative. You should wait a couple months and get tested again. If your boyfriend has cold sores and gives you oral sex, you can definitely contract genital herpes from him. If you don’t want to spread oral herpes to your genitals then you need to refrain from oral sex without protection of some sort. Kissing can spread oral herpes to your partner but you can reduce your chances of doing that by taking a prescription antiviral, like Valtrex daily.

      • Anonymous says:

        If I have kissed a guy who has herpes for 2 times (simple kiss) can I get herpes ? Pls reply im really worried now …

    • Anonymous says:

      If the test you had was a blood test, it was far more accurate than a skin test. I had it for three years and had 2 skin tests that came back negative. They finally did a blood test that came back positive.

      You need to request a blood test, and sometimes you’ll have to pay extra for it, but it’s worth it to know for sure.

      • Anonymous says:

        This isn’t true. Herpes will NOT come up on a blood test until at least 3-6 months after you have been infected. It takes the body that long to build up antibodies against the virus; therefore, it won’t show up positive right away. If you have open lesions, a swab test is most accurate. If you think you were infected months, even years back, you can request a blood test. The downside to this, however, is if you’ve never had symptoms of the virus, the blood test will not tell you where on the body you are infected. If will just tell you whether or not the virus is isolated in the blood.

        • Anonymous says:

          I found out I had it after I thought I was having issues with hemrroids, went to GYN and she saw what I described – cultured, and I had a blood test. So my boyfriend at the time frequently had mouth cold sores (never said anything to me) and he was the only person who gave me oral sex.
          He was tested and found out he had Type 1. He said he never had issues, but would get terrible mouth sores. Does anyone get so tired they could sleep for days when an outbreak comes on ? That’s how I know, I used to handle stress better, but if to many things occur at one time-and all I want to do is sleep-that’s how I know.
          What do people do if their man wants oral sex? Use a flavored condom? Or just no. And if I have a cold sore – is it just better not to kiss?

        • Anonymous says:

          I’m a little late but I hope you see this! Mines most like what you said…I literally just got a call finding out I have herpes type 2 (genital). I got test back in December &when the nurse pulled that up, they tested for everything BUT herpes? Why would they do that?! Don’t they still have the blood to test it again &see? I haven’t shown symptoms or had my first outbreak I don’t think considering its described to be terrible! This blood test came back w/ everything negative except for herpes &i was told I needed a booster on my hep b shot…Will I automatically spread it during sex…or only when I’m having an outbreak? What next?!

        • Anonymous says:

          Not true. I had unprotected sex and the very next day I had my first outbreak. Went to the Doc and got a blood test and came up positive. Everyone is different.

          • Anonymous says:

            So the guy I’ve been seeing had genital herpes and he’s been on the pill to help prevent an outbreak for months now. We used a condom, but during the condom came off inside me and we don’t know how long it was off. Does that mean I have herpes now or is there a chance that I don’t have it? It’s been four days since and nothing seems different but how can I look for symptoms and how long after can I get tested?

      • Anonymous says:

        A blood test can take 6 months. The most accurate reading is a spinal tap. I have Mollat Herpes Meningitis. My first outbreak was January 2015. I contracted it 14 days prior to my first symptoms and went to the doctor and the said my sores were ingrown hairs. Went back saw a different doctor, had my blood checked and was swabbed on my sores, tested negative, a week later, I went back and was tested again, blood negative and sores negative. 2 days later I was admitted into the hospital with Herpes Meningitis. My blood didn’t show positive until June 2015. My spinal fluid was positive and it is 99% accurate.

        • Anon says:

          Can a girl with only genital herpes pass on the disease by kissing me or giving me (a guy) a bj?

          • Mary says:

            No. It’s in/on her vagina, not her mouth.
            No sex with her or oral on her & you’ll be fine.
            It doesn’t circle through our body & we become one huge infected person.. It stays where it’s at. Until made physical or fluid contact somewhere else.

      • Anonymous says:

        I’ve had it for 26 years and have been tested for 26 years and none of these doctors know what they’re doing and the tests don’t prove squat. I can feel the outbreak coming and when I go to the doctor they charge me for their magic test before they can prescribe anything lol. So when I return with my face looking a toads back I get my prescription and leave then waiting for the negative test results that they can’t explain. Your best bet is to get info from someone who already has it and if course if you can see it compare it against other outbreaks. I do believe herpes should only be treated by a socialist in that area lol good luck with that….and oh yeah what’s up with the refills on herpes medication???? Lol smh….it’s a lifetime disease!! Keep the tap open! Lol

    • Anonymous says:

      your boyfriend now caused it because i have type one and my doc told me it takes at least 6 months to 1 year to appear in your blood test.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have genital herpes. Can I spread to my kids? Are I give them to the dad? I don’t know what to do

      • Anonymous says:

        You can give it to the dad during sex. The virus sheds, and is most contagious before there are visible sores. So likely you’ve already given it to sex partners. The only way to give it to your children is through child birth, so you need to let your OBGYN know you have HSV-2 if you’re pregnant. Having an outbreak during childbirth can be very damaging to the infant (brain damage, death), so your doctor needs to know so they can monitor it.

    • Yoana says:

      Hey did u get tested I’m going thru the same plz write back.

  3. Tara Detoll says:

    I would like to know how long u can walk around with herpes n not know it

    • Anonymous says:

      Someone could have it for years and not know until they get really stressed/depressed or a low immune system and have a flare up

    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve known since spring of last year and I haven’t had any symptoms. Was getting a routine physical, pap was normal, results said all STd test were negative. Blood test came back that Said I had it. I’ve never had symptoms even 8 months later. There’s no telling how long I had it before knowing.

      • connie says:

        You sure was LUCKY then, My FIRST OUTBREAK, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE. HURTS SO BAD I was out of work for a month.

        • Anonymous says:

          I have never had any out break and i was diagnosed with herpes 2 4 montHs ago, does that mean i have a strong immune system?!

        • Anonymous says:

          Currently having my first outbreak. Going to the doctors tommorrow. Anyone know any home remedies?

          • Anonymous says:

            If its hard for you to urinate, try urinating in a bath tub of warm water.. will be much easier for you and will hurt less.. Go to the doctor and get medication.. will help with the time frame that you have an outbreak and will lessen the chance on getting them often.

          • Anonymous says:

            The best remedy is to educate yourself about the infection and I can’t say not to stress because that’s just impossible .. I have type 2 .. It’s been 4 months .. And i have the rest of my life to go.

          • Anonymous says:

            You can use baking soda manuka honey (raw honey ) just apply on the sore and you can also look on good home remedies for herpies and it will tell you plenty of home remedies!!

    • Anonymous says:


    • Anonymous says:

      I’ve been with my bf for 3 years and neither of us have every shown signs of it. Just found out the other day cause I had an outbreak. I’m guessing you can go a while.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I was diagnosed August 2014 and it rocked my world. I’ve always been careful and the guy I had been with was the only person for 2 years. I started to wonder I he had symptoms that I ignored or did he even know he has it. Needless to say, I’ve never had an outbreak and I take meds daily just to make sure I don’t. Sounds too painful! I haven’t had sex with anyone since. Kinda shut down. I miss it but I’m terrified to pass this to anyone else. Now I’m talking to someone new and im terrified to tell him. No time soon but eventually I will. Just scared.

    • Anonymous says:

      I hear you on that one . Wait til the time is right

      • Anonymous says:

        Don’t wait too long though. my wife burnt me. I didn’t leave her, but the fact she kept it from me until after we got married was very wrong of her. I’m not sure if I have it. It won’t be a big deal, but honesty is the best policy. Don’t wait too long.

        • Anonymous says:

          My soon to be ex husband did the same to me…told me he was tested in college–almost 7 years before he met me–and he tested positive. Told me two months before our divorce. So unfair. Now, because I won’t do that to anyone, my dating life is essentially done.

        • Anonymous says:

          It’s extremely hard not to tell your mate my boyfriend of 3 years have it to me I left him and I’m with someone new but I’m afraid to tell him I feel like he will judge me people think it’s easy to do but it’s not we live in a world where people judge and say mean things Bcuz the don’t kno my story I feel bad about not telling my new guy, but I’m scared. Ughhhhhh so confused and don’t know what to do!!

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m in the same position. I just found out last week. My ex gave it to me. He didn’t know he had it. Im trying to move on but I’m scared. I have meet a really nice guy but I’m scared to tell him.

    • Anonymous says:

      Me and my boyfriend has been together 3 years neither one of us has cheated or slept with anyone else. Found out I have herpes… How could this happen???????

      • Anonymous says:

        Either one of you contracted it from a sexual encounter previous to your relationship together or he did in fact cheat, assuming you did not.

        • Anonymous says:

          I have had herpes for 3 years.. My doc looked at my penis and said “you have herpes,” but I have in protective sex everyday and never passed it to any of my friends. Could the doctor be wrong or have mistaken this herpes symptoms with something else?

        • Anonymous says:

          It’s also possible one of you were given HSV-1 at a young age by getting kissed by a close friend or relative. Parents pass it on fairly often completely unaware.

      • Anonymous says:

        Don’t always be so sure that no one cheated because I had the same problem and found out for 5 years my boyfriend was cheating on me.

      • Anonymous says:

        Same thing happened to me! I just found out last week. Does this mean I can’t even kiss again??? I have HSV1 oral AND genital! They say it’s rare to get in both places at one time…? I am still trying to process this….

        • Anonymous says:

          I have had HSV1 since childhood. I have not had an oral outbreak in over five months . My boyfriend of 1.5 years tested negative for HSV 1 or 2 blood. But positive culture genital several days ago and now today he has a cold sore on his lip.
          Friggin hard knowing I gave him HSV 1 oral and genital. He was well aware I suffer from oral herpes as I wouldn’t let him get anywhere close to a kiss when i thought or felt and outbreak abut to happen.

      • Maquel says:

        Similar situation for me, only my boyfriend is convinced I cheated and gave it to him. Which I have not done. He’s having a tough time dealing with it. We found out because he had an outbreak. Is it possible I gave it to him with no symptoms and he is the only one with an outbreak?

  5. Anonymous says:

    I been have sick and the doctor told me what she thought it was and I don’t know what to do

  6. Anonymous says:

    Where are these countless communities and online support groups? I can’t find any that seem trustworthy and aren’t trying to sell me something.

  7. Marie says:

    I recently found out that I have herpes type 2 and although I’m taking medicine I still sometimes feel a slight discomfort and I also had sex with a guy without telling him, I didn’t mean to but kissing turned into a lot of touching, I’m scared to tell him now because we did it but also I don’t want to have passed it on to please somebody tell me that because I’m on meds and we used a condom that there is a great chance I didn’t pass it to him????

    • Anonymous says:

      There is no way you spread it him with all those precautions you took. As long as you had no outbreak symptoms of course. Be honest with him, it will suck but better now than never.

      • Anonymous says:

        That’s bull****. You can have herpes and never ever have any symptoms yourself, but you ARE still a carrier and can and will pass it on to your partners. They may also have no symptoms..but you both still have it and can pass to anyone through bodily fluids. Do your research, and talk to a DOCTOR!!

    • Anonymous says:

      There is always a chance, but with meds and a condom the chances are small. As for telling him, follow your heart.

    • ayom says:

      Once you werent having an outbreak and you used a condom. He won’t catch it.

  8. concerned mom/grandma says:

    My daughter was just diagnosed yesterday with genital herpes. Her doctor told her not to let her daughter use the bathtub. But no mention of anything else they share like toilets, sinks,towels,bed,kisses, hand holding,etc… it don’t make sense to me. We care for my granddaughter 5 days/nights a week. She is 4 yrs, and in school. How can we prevent this virus, or bigger question is can we get it while my daughter is being treated? I’m so upset right now and more scared of my granddaughter being infected and having to live the rest of her life with it.

    • Anonymous says:

      No worries, I have it and I shower with my daughter daily. She has not tested positive, plus we sleep in the same bed. I kiss her all day long. Just tell you daughter just do not kids her child if sure has an oral outbreak. To spread herpes it has to be skin to skin contact not inanimate objects. Hope this helps.

      • Anonymous says:

        Objects can spread the virus, but it’s rare. A razor for instance has to potential to do just that. It’s a very low chance, but there is a chance.

      • Worried says:

        Can i pass on herpes by using someone else’s make up or drink in someone’s drinks?

  9. ron says:

    I started running a low grade fever today,and didn’t know why,but I knew my penis been sore for a day.Today I seen that I have about 3 little pus sores.And I know what I have because my wife has it,but my question is how long will I run a fever,I take meds and have a low amune system,how long will it take to get rid of the symtoms.And stress could have caused the breakout too I don’t know.

    • Old Hippy says:

      One out of six people on the planet have herpes simplex. It happened to me. As long as there are no sexual encounters there is little fear that you will catch it. I hate to say this but, she may be a victim of sexual child abuse! I would watch a friend, relative or even your baby sitter who spends time alone with them or seems to be quite taken with her.

      • Anonymous says:

        False, herpes type 1 (HSV-1) does not require sexual activity to spread to another person. Skin to skin contact could be an innocent kiss from a relative, or a pinch on the cheek.

    • Old Hippy says:

      Everyone I have known that have herpes have different symptoms. Some people have herpes for years and never even know it! You can have symptoms or outbreaks for a week or even longer. Take some aspirin or Tylenol for your fever and get on with your life. It will come when it comes and could happen anytime. The best thing you can do is see your doctor and get medication to relieve your symptoms, or even stop outbreaks from happening! Don’t feel down, over a billion (1 out of six) people are living with genital herpes. It’s just the human condition.

  10. d says:

    I haven’t had sex, I’m a virgin but my genitals have been itching for a very long time and I have been getting a lot of pimples around my lips and I’m scared. Again, I’ve never had any type of sexual interactions not even a kiss but I’m still worried..

  11. tired of sores says:

    I found out i had herpes when i was pregnant with my son. My husband has type1, and didnt realized he had given it to me.

    The medicine for this is ridiculously expensive. $164 for a 30 day supply. Is there any way to get help paying? Not having this med is not an option. Ive had sores for 8 months straight.

    • Anonymous says:

      Take the generic acyclovir. I’m on Medicaid and I get it free, same supply amount.

    • Anonymous says:

      Try getting it from your local health department

    • connie says:

      Use lido Caine burn spray down there…boy it numbs the pain a lil while.. Samaritan houses red crosses might help groups like that..they do here

    • Anonymous says:

      Can you explain to me your symptoms ?? I don’t know if I have it but I’m scared I do for the last 6 months it hurts to wipe it burns and stings and it’s also itchy as fuck. I can’t even have soap touch my vagina or it starts to sting…it won’t go away the symptoms will lessen but after my period it comes back where I have to pay dry so that it doesn’t hurt and sometimes I see specs of blood on the tiolet paper…could this be herpea or a yeast infection bacterial vaginosis or thrush pleaSe help I’m scared

  12. Anonymous says:

    I just found out today that I have Herpes. I had some itching (not even all that bad compared to what google says) and went to the doctor. We did tests, she gave me the news straight up with no emotion or sympathy whatsoever, even when I burst out crying. She gave me no information on medication or treatment or anything. I have no idea how I even got it because I haven’t been with anyone in forever. The doctor said I must have had it for awhile and not known. But now I feel like I can never tell anyone about this and never be with anyone again, and I will never enjoy any sex act ever again. I would rather be dead than have a disease. Where can I get help for this? I don’t have insurance and can’t afford it and I don’t feel comfortable even talking to my close friends about this.

    • Anonymous says:

      Its ok I felt the same way as you when I found out there’s nothing to freak out about at first you do but read up on it inform yourself from direct std websites keep your immune system strong take vitamins every day and seek help on getting the meds you need it will help and as for your life you are not the only one who has it and there are open minded people out there you just got to be wise on who you decide to tell my dear.

      • anonymous says:

        Me too.Was just diagnosed with hsv1 on the genital area 3 months ago. The first outbreak was so painful and I’m freaked out to have sex again or tell the new man I am interested in. I realized that I must take my time with this new relationship and tell him when the time is right. Not trying to engage into a sexual relationship until I figure out more about this condition and if he can’t accept it I’ll be okay. At least there was honest. I was devastated when NY obgyn called me with news, I felt so lost but now I’m learning to cope with it the best way I can.

    • Anonymous says:

      Take daily dose of anitherpes medication, use protection, don’t kiss or have sex when your herpes flare up and care for it so it goes away fast.

      I’ve had oral herpes for years now and have enjoyed a good sex life. Sometimes I don’t tell my partners and when I do I say “it’s a cold sore or fever blister”.

      The main concern is taking care of myself when I get the flare up.. I know that’s the most important and crucial time.

      For health insurance go sign up at your local Planned Parenthood and sign up for Obamacare Health Insurance

      • Anonymous says:

        I find it appalling that you take away someone’s choice by not telling them you have herpes. Why do you think you have the right to lie? You should be sued.

        • queenir says:

          I totally agree it should be there choice…how the heck you think we ended up here…one of the aholes was unaware meaning they didn’t care for themselves or knew and didn’t care to inform…either way the choice was taken from us…u should be sued and put behind bars…that’s like spreading HIVn knowing u infected …totally agrer

          • Anonymous says:

            I agree. I contacted from my now ex husband. Of course I thought he was faithful. Obviously he wasn’t.

        • Anonymous says:

          It’s a crime to withhold that information and you can go to jail for that.

          • Anonymous says:

            You’re thinking of AIDS. No one can be prosecuted for not disclosing the fact they have any type of herpes.
            Don’t make up uneducated rumors.

      • Anonymous says:

        Is it possible to only get it herpes when you shave?

    • Anonymous says:

      You will get better. Please don’t do anything to harm yourself. You deserve a better doctor and you didn’t deserve that no matter what. First find you another doctor ASAP. Next take time to take care of yourself. I felt the same way at first but I promise you get better. Please take care and just keep holding on.

      • Anonymous says:

        I’ve been married for 25 yes and I just got this symptoms and went to get checked and yes it was herpes. .since then my relationship has gone bad. I don’t know howI got it he has been my only partner for 26 yr. This make me think that he has cheated on me he says that he will not go get checked cause he has no symptoms. I feel dirty and nasty to a point that I refuse to have intercourse with him and when I do I feel so cold towards him. Will I ever get rid of it. Or can this be deadly.. I’m so scared cause I have a little one at home and I’m afraid to touch her as well. Please what can I do.

    • countrygirl says:

      I know how you feel. It sucks. Not to mention i met a great guy i waited a lifetime for and we’ve had conversations and he’s made it clear, he doesn’t care about a woman’s past, BUT will not deal with a lifelong std. Herpes or hiv. So no sense in telling him. I’m just letting him go.

      • Anonymous says:

        That guy might be a lot more understanding and accepting than you would expect its hard to find someone strong enough to be honest, being real with who you are to yourself and others will make you a stronger person. There’s no reason to hide and be ashamed, all forms of life are manageable. And the more time you dwell alone the bigger the chance you have to break down, omit the truth and continue spreading the infection disrespectfully. Maybe half your friends have it too.

    • Anonymous says:

      Did you ever find anyone to talk to about it? I also don’t want to talk to my friends about it

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s not a big deal over time. I was diagnosed in 2010, and my last outbreak was 3 years ago. It gets easier with time. Additionally, I recently met a man who accepts the fact I have herpes. I figured if a guy can’t deal with all of me, then he’s not my type. Herpes doesn’t own me. The first outbreak and year was the worst. Take Valtrex if you can!

      • Anonymous says:

        I have a question. I was reading these forums, and i think its a very normal and healthy thing to want companionship, romance, love, etc. My question is if a man wanted a future with children, which requires unprotected sex, or to do sexual acts which could spread the disease to other areas (genital vs oral etc) how is someone supposed to deal with that? I’m not asking this question to judge I’m asking because I have never dealt with this issue and I would like insight from someone who has and also has a partner that can accept it.

        • Anonymous says:

          I was diagnosed with type 1 genitally and at the time i had just started seeing a guy and was sexually active with him. I when i found out i told him an i guess he has had some cold sores in the past and wasnt aware that it was herpes or of the fact that he could spread it with no symptoms he never haf given it to anyone else before the problem is i have it genitally and he has it orally n im so scared i could give it to him genitally

      • Anonymous says:

        I totally agree at first you feel like nobody will accept you but that’s the exact opposite I’ve been in 3 relationships since then and have told all 3 of my boyfriends at that time and they accepted me and even after the relationship we remain good friends. Don’t let herpes own you, once you own it you’ll be much happier it’s not something you can change so learn to accept it and like she said if a man or woman can’t accept all of the greatness within you just because of you having something called herpes then they aren’t for you! They most likely have it and don’t even know it lol

    • Perplexed says:

      You took the words out of my mouth..I’m at a loss and would rather die versus telling anyone!!!

  13. Anonymous says:

    Never give up on life because of a common skin infection. I know its hard but your soul mate is still out there! We have to have hope!

  14. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous, I’m so sorry. I was having pain and went to the Dr. She acted the same way yours did, no emotion, no support. This was in 2012. I still think about how I have genital herpes all the time. I’ve been married for nine years and I know he didn’t cheat on me. He has been supportive but we don’t talk about anymore. I can’t even be intimate with him, even though I’m on 1 gram of valtrex a day, I feel sensations and itching almost every other day. I don’t know what to do. Keep reading online, there are a lot of helpful websites.

  15. C.price says:

    I’ve had hsv 4 over 10yrs and I’ve never experienced a genital outbreak. I just recently learned that it is possible 2have an outbreak in other places such as hands,feet,face, etc. My guy was recently diagnosed with it as well and his 1st outbreak is severe, We had planned 2 have a it possible for our child to be affected??

    • anonymous says:

      It is possible, But I’ve read it is slim ( like a 1% chance). Just can’t have vaginal delivery if you have active infection/ lesions at time of delivery. In that case, they do a c section. I’m due in 8 weeks, so I feel your fear. If you think about it though, if 1 out of 6 adults have hsv 2, a lot of babies are born without that infection, so it must be relatively safe to give birth. Just make sure you’re honest with your Ob and keep them informed on your health for your baby’s sake.

    • Anonymous says:

      Hi idk if i have herpes i have a neighbor that have herpes and when we were in her house i forgot she had herpes and so she had a hookah pen and i dont think she smoked it for like weeks and i put my lips on it and it wasnt that long like 1 second and then i remember she had herpes and this happen like a year ago and never had a breakout. But i was looking at my private part im a guy and i say tiny white things i dont know what there are but it dont hurt when i touch but im very scared.

      • Anonymous says:

        if she had oral herpes (cold sores) and she used the pen recently you could have gotten oral herpes from that. this would not affect your genitals, so no if you have genital herpes you didn’t get it from your neighbor.

        • anonymous says:

          Is this the same vice versa? If I gave someone oral who had genital herpes could it still effect my genitals?

    • Anonymous says:

      Yes you can pass it to your child

    • Anonymous says:

      You can have a baby without having a C-section i have herpes in had mine with no problems i was put on medicine weeks before my due date to prevent an outbreak in prevent from having to have a c section in passing it on to my daughter. Which she is very healthy in doesn’t have herpes. So you can still have a health baby in pregnancy with herpes. Don’t let it get you down

  16. youareenough says:

    I found out beginning of Feb this year too. I’ve been doing research and Ive been using Tea Tree oil it totally helps. The suppliment L lysine has worked for some but not for others and it didnt really help me, but i just read about another suppliment monolaurin, which im going to try. It’s supposed to really help. I feel and know your pain, but it’s going to get better. I have to tell myself positive things daily, and I know of people who do find love with this disease. I have to believe this is not an end of any kind for me in any way, and for you neither.

  17. anonymous says:

    My husband and I were both diagnosed last summer. I am currently 8 months pregnant, and my OB says that I am ok to have a vaginal delivery as long as I don’t have any active lesions at the time of delivery. I’ve had outbreaks though for at least 3 out of 4 weeks every month. Scary for sure, but supposedly baby is gaining antibodies from my outbreaks, and I’ve read that infection to my baby is only 1% chance since I was infected prior to being pregnant.

    Question though, if I’m having an outbreak, is it safe to have sex with my husband since he has it as well? Or will he get new clusters of sores?

    • Anonymous says:

      I had a C section with both of my kids because of this… A vaginal delivery is completely unsafe, and the virus in your baby could be fatal. I’d check more into this before you decide to go that route. Both of my doctors didn’t even offer it as an option because of the risk.

    • Anonymous says:

      I have two kids and pushed them out. They are healthy. Don’t get a c-section unless you have to. Everybody is not the same.

  18. Anonymous says:

    I recently went to get blood work done along with a pelvic exam and my doctor told me the results were positive for “recent herpes”. I don’t even know what that means?? I had noticed a red bump on my vagina about 4 days prior to the doctor visit but it never hurt, never had a white blister head, or felt uncomfortable in any way! I then thought the worse and googled and herpes came up, which caused me to panic and make myself sick with sleepless nights. when my doc saw the bump he said it’s not herpes but an ingrown hair. I’m just so confused!!! the doc told me to go back in a month because they can’t distinguish if my “recent herpes” is oral or genital? any thoughts??

  19. anonymous says:

    my doc said my blood work lab results came back positive for “recent herpes.” I don’t know what this means? he looked at a red bump I had and said it was an ingrown hair so didn’t take a culture. now that I’m positive for “recent herpes”, it scares me. he told me to go back in a month since they can’t distinuguish if it’s oral or genital? any thoughts??

    • Perplexed says:

      Dr told me same!! Over the frighten phone with no sympathy..etc..I read my results the Dr didn’t call me I called her!! Yep recently infect.what he’ll does that mean?? Can’t tell if you have 1 or 2”repeat blood test few months! I’m emotionally drained..

  20. H. Hunter Handsfield, MD H. Hunter Handsfield, MD says:

    Test reply. Checking out the systems.

  21. Anonymous says:

    I was raped and that’s how I was exposed. He has been found and he is exposing women with it. My first out break i wanted to die. I hate my life.

  22. alex says:

    I’ve had it for thee years my girlfriend infected me…I’m not happy at all about it…. she make feel like its OK because her xhusband gave it two her so that makes it OK…..its not her fault so now she wants me out of her life…I’ll be OK I wanted two be married….when she told me I stayed with her I am infected now her friends tell her it not the end of the world so now she thinks it OK not two look at my life tell me I will find love do you just tell some one you have herpes and they say o””ok that cool I don’t think so….
    …,and I feel so bad now i know what her plans are she makes me want two sue her…people like her really hurts the world…..but what can you do…..nothing…it a joke to some people….

    • anonymous says:

      The same happen to me… than he tells me He will be there for me as friends … weeks later get my first outbreak so I text him to see if he could help me since he is the only one that knows. …he doesn’t even text be back to see how I’m doing.
      He’s my only sexual partner…. I’ve never had sex
      with anyone before him or after or kissed anyone for that matter. Life sucks!

  23. Macy Moons says:

    I have herpes I found out 9 months ago…my first outbreak was painful I hated walking, wearing panties, turning over in my sleep…I took pictures of my infected vagina…but when I google search genital herpes it doesn’t look the same mines remind of a volcano that keeps on erupting…yea of course I thought it was the end of the world but 9 months ago was my first and only outbreak ever since then I haven’t had one yet…sex I still have but receiving oral I just say ewww no I don’t like that..even though I miss it like crazy…now I have to learn how to give oral :( pay back a bitch!

  24. Anonymous says:

    I just found out I have herpes. My doctor did a blood test it came up positive for type two. I have been with my husband for five years and he showed up negative. I don’t understand how I can have it and he can not. He is the only person I have been with in the last five years. He doesn’t want to have sex anymore and I’m afraid this is going to cause us to get devorced. Is there anything out there that can prevent him from getting it? I’ve never had an out break that I know of.

    • Doug says:

      He won’t get it if there are no sores and after time goes on you hardly break out anymore

    • Anonymous says:

      I am currently in the same boat as well. Ive been with my bf for about a year & he recently found out that he has HSV 2. He urged me to go get a check up & i did! Idk what i will do if my test comes back positive because i have the rest of my life to live & im only 23 (in like 4 days). Reading and educating myself on what herpes really is scares me a lot. The thought of it never going away or the thought of having kids…idk which one is worst. I am patiently waiting on my results & im praying to God it comes up negative. Im super scared…

      • Renay says:

        My husband gave me this disease. It’s disgusting. 23 is a baby; you don’t need disease in your life. If you still want to be w/him then after everytime you have sex get up immediately, urinate then shower. I don’t know if it that works but I’ve had sex w/two guys & immediately after I get a soapy towel and a wet towel & wash & rinse his genital area thoroughly. My husband abandoned me afterwards & is now on his third wife.

  25. thatgirl says:

    I have a question … So I am waiting on test rescults to come back Dr says she thinks it is herpes i haven’t had a period in two years because I’m on nexplanon all of a sudden I had what I thought was a yeast infection treated for that three days later woke up to what felt like chemical burns went to the Dr she tells me its either a bacterial infection that has gotten very bad from over treating for yeast or herpes. Since then the meds worked I was normal for 3 days and now I’m hurting again and have a lot of bleeding period like and yeast it seems again… Does this sound like herpes. I’m going crazy waiting on the results.

  26. Sarai says:

    I went to the doctor n found out I have type 1 herpes. I haven’t had any outbreak so it came to a surprise. Does that mean I can’t give kisses to my kids since we always give a peck on the mouth :-/

    • Anonymous says:

      Anywhere from 60-90% of the population has type 1, so honestly even if you do your best to protect your kids from it, they will likely contract it by someone else at some point. I got it from my folks when I was a kid and don’t really fuss too much over it, since most people seem to have it (and are A OK with it).

  27. anomaly says:

    I’m really frustrated. Thus far, by Gods continued grace I haven’t been diagnosed with Herpes. However, a close friend did. And there have been times where my hypochondria has kicked in and I freak out over the most common symptoms that are linked to many things. Needless to say, thinking that you may have this disease is a humbling thing and it made me more empathetic to others. It’s sad that we’re living in a time where we’re constantly told to practice safe sex and even if you do, there’s still a chance of you catching herpes. And to top it off, not even know you have it! Doctors are way too insensitive and judge mental. They want you in and out with no remorse. It’s not right. I could go on but I’ll delve into my frustrations with the medical system and get completely off topic. Let us pray for a vaccine. After reading your comments I’m close to committing to masturbation until 1 exists.

    • yorkiegirl says:

      I hate to say it, but forget the masturbation too. I hadn’t had an outbreak in almost 2 years and masturbated. Within a few days or so, I had an outbreak. I think it is the rubbing irritation that triggers it.

  28. Anonymous says:

    I have been diagnosed with herpes 2 about 2 years ago and only had 1 outbreak to date. I’m very scared to date because of infected another individual. I’m not on any meds. If I do date, how do I share this info with my new partner without fear he won’t understand and not want to see me any longer???

    • Anonymous says:

      You sit down with them and day something to the effect that you foresee your relationship becoming sexual and need to tell them you have herpes. They will ask some questions likely and may or may not continue with the relationship, but more than likely will. Do it when you are not in a hot and heavy moment and if possible on your turf. Do not wait until you are about to have sex/or have rubbed. They will respect you for your honesty and there is a 1 in 6 chance they have it as well. A 8 in 10 they have HPV. I would say that if you want to be responsible and kind your days of one night stands are likely over. Good luck.

  29. Anonomy says:

    I was diagnosed with genital herpes, did not test myself for type 1 or 2, I always get sores on my lips but it never went anywhere else. Now after being married for 25 years I got it. I never cheated and I don’t think that my husband cheats, how can this be possible? Blisters are so painful and large I’ can’t even walk it hurts so not sure how to handle this I just want to die. I’m having a back surgery in few days, am I still ok to go ahead with surgery?e

  30. nobody says:

    I just found out today I have herpes well might have it. waiting on results but doctor said it looks like i do. I found out because I had nasty sore thing on my vag. decided to get tested and that was my answer. I’m freaking out bcz I had been with the same parter for 6years till last month when I found out he was cheating on me with not one but 4 different woman. I’m not gna lie I had sex with a friend a month ago before I found out he was cheating on me in vengence of a friend telling me she knew he was. and I had sex with him that same day as well to feel how it felt to have the tables turned. but now I’m freaking out bcz idk who it came from. if they have it or not if it’s just me since im the only one with the outbreak. I hope its not but you can’t cover the sun with one finger and I’m scared the one time I cheat and he’s done it to me for ever.I just don’t want it to be my fault. and I doubt it came from my friend he’s my bbf and I know his sex life inside out and he’s been with the same girl for years. when they test u do they tell u how long u have had it for?

    • Anonymous says:

      Hi… we have the same experience as my boyfriend cheated on me and I decided to fool around with someone I just recently know. It was the biggest mistake of my life since I got infected with hsv and don’t know either who gave it to me coz both of them have no symptoms. Although my boyfriend cheated on me I still love him very much and if he’s and I don’t want him to get infected if his clean. I really dont know what to do.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m going through the same problem right now; it showed up that I had type 2 and I’ve only had sex with my boyfriend and one other person because I had found out he had cheated on me with one other person… Now I’m scared because I don’t know who I got it from.. And he wants to get tested and what if he doesn’t have any?

  31. Angelina says:

    I started feeling discomfort and sore after few days we been intimate, I been with him for about 1year and not had sex anyone else for another 1year before him… They said it look likes genital herpes test results are not back yet but I’m terrified….
    He had it tested too but I’m the only one that has symptoms…
    I have so many question on how would it affect me..
    1-We never had sex with condoms, does that mean we gonna have to start using them…?
    2-does this disease affect me from getting pregnant..?

    • Anonymous says:

      Take medicine for it, you shouldnt have sex with a outbreak. Its very painful, so I don’t think you’ll want to. Best to wait till the out break is gone. An I have 2 kids, 4 and 6yrs old. I had a out break while pregnant, didn’t effect them. An neither one of them has it. It can affect your pregnancy, if you have a outbreak while going onto labor vaginal. But they usually give you a c-section to prevent the risk of giving it to your babies. An you can still have kis just like any other female. An I’ve been living with it for 6yrs. The longer you have it, the more you’ll know how to deal with it. I’m not proud of it, an wish I nvr had it. You live an you learn, when I first got it. I thought my life was over, you’ll feel like that. Not saying it’s okay, but in time it gets better. It really does, don’t beat yourself up. LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!

  32. Nicola says:

    I know it sounds scarey but herpes is really not the end of the world … I caught it when I was 18 and I’m now 28 with two gorgeous daughters and I didn’t have a flare up for 6 years I’ve just had a flare up now as I’ve been stressed out which can cause an episode but I just take ibuprofen and now there calming down. :-)

  33. siarra says:

    So I just find out I have herpes type 2 . I was running a really high fever and I noticed a small rash on my inner thigh it looked more like it was chaffed I’m 7 1/2 months pregnant so im explaining this to my doctor and they kept saying its fine its normal. The next day my body was in so much pain I could barely move nor sleep my baby was moving so much im like omg what is really going on. I checked my temp it was 103.4 so I go to the er and they monitor me and the baby for 2hrs I’m like well I also have this rash thats bothering me.. She examines my vagina and says I don’t see anything so I was relieved… The next morning I go pee and I happened to wipe hard I notice so skin and blood I grab a mirror and I see new bumps or now blisters on my labia and I’m calling my Dr like look you have to see me now or I’m gonna go crazy this just doesn’t look right. He just takes one look at it like aw its herpes and I’m screaming and crying like how and why how long have I had this. He doesn’t know when I got it this is my first out break I’ve been with the same guy for a year and we are stressing thinking he has it . is it a chance that he doesn’t ? Will I ever know how long I’ve had this or did he give it to me and just doesn’t have symptoms ? I’m so confused Idk what to do

  34. admin says:

    If you have questions about herpes and would like an expert option, check out our Ask the Experts service at Your question will be answered by one of these nationally known experts in the field of STIs and sexual health: Edward Hook, MD, Terri Warren, RN, ANP, or H. Hunter Handsfield, MD. You can ask your question, and two follow up questions, for a $25 fee.

    • Anonymous says:

      Can you get herpes if you only had sex with one person and that person lost his to you and was never infected and neither was I? Like can you just randomly developed it or do you have to be born with it or come incontact ?

  35. Somebody says:

    Three days ago I found out by my routine pap result. That I got it. Must likely it’s Hvs 2. But I haven’t gone back yet to get a blood test or a swab bc two weeks before I go the doctor. I have unprotected sex twice with a guy I barley know. The doc told me it’s too early to tell through blood test( got to wait at least three to go for a test to be more accurate). The only way is if I have an outbreak which I haven’t yet and no symptoms either. Since then I can’t sleep, eat , and feel like I can’t be with anyone else ever. I hope that I don’t really have it. When I do go back for a blood test I hope it’s negative. If it is positive then I feel like shit again all over. The guy left the same day I found out my pap result. Yes, we not together anymore BC he left for work. It’s suck. No I don’t want anything with him ever again. He probably knows he have it and didn’t care. I’m pissed off but what can I do. Nothing. Yes, I did have one other partner before but I believe him more then this guy sexual history. Just waiting a few months to know for sure if I really had it in the first place or not. Yes, do wondered about my future and life with the next person if he going to accepted me if I have it. I have no kids or ever been married yet. I’m 31 years old. I feel like my life is kind of over but I still have a lil hope. Please pray for me until then

  36. Me says:

    I’m scared I had just filed for divorce and now this finding out he cheated on me and gave me this how will I go on knowing I have this who will want me.

  37. Sarah C. says:

    So, I am 35, professional, no kids yet, just got results electronically, no doctor call, nothing. Genital herpes. Positive ..Talk about feeling your stomach drop. I scheduled an apt with a nurse practitioner tomorrow so I can see about an antibody test, because I wasn’t to see how recent it is. Friday I see my boyfriend of 3.5 months, and yes we have been sexually active, no condoms…and will have to tell him. Total nightmare I am sure, rather stick rusty nails in my eyes…. Not fun, as we joked last week about the “herp” and I was just diagnosed last week with vaginal tears which led to a bad bacterial infection, and while in the stirrups got tested with a herpes swab…so I had a mix of half and half….very painful. I wonder and sort of hope this is my first outbreak due to the severe symptoms, leg pain, dizziness, etc, but who knows since I had a lot going on down there. Middle finger in the air, why does life have to be so hard. I just wanted to make love… So, in conclusion, I really hope he gave it to me. Weird thing to think and say, but I bet all agree. No hard feelings. Shit happens. But it will be difficult if he did not. Sad there is such a bad connotation associated with this virus. Please shoot me. It’s either from him, or the last boyfriend. That I should not have slept with 4 months ago when on a whim of “let me call my ex because I am lonely….I have heard rumors that he sleeps with a lot of women..great….. My heart breaks for the feelings my boyfriend will experience when I tell him, just gotta give him time and tell him to get tested.

  38. somebody says:

    I’m 16 and I had a secret boyfriend. I’m not allowed to date. We only kissed. And now I have these red bumps on my lips. I’ve only kissed him. I’m scared to tell my mother and I think I need to go to doctor. I feel like it might be herpes. Does anyone know of a clinic or something.

  39. Anonymous says:

    I’ve had genital herpes, for 3 years now. I told my boyfriend I had it years ago, we’ve know each other for 6 years way before I got it, we finally decided to be together after six years of playing around, I gave him herpes and now he saying he hate me, and I fear that the love of my life may never speak to me again because of this, can anybody tell me about their relationship if it survived or ended because of this?

    • Hernonymous says:

      I got it back in 2006. I couldn’t believe it. I was with this new boyfriend for about 6 months. I got the diagnosis when I couldn’t sit anymore in my chair. I didn’t know I was having an outbreak. Funny thing though, the morning I started hurting, I mistook the wrong body wash for a walnut exfoliant. I thought I broke out. Nope, they took one look and gave me the diagnosis. The hardest thing was explaining it to this new boyfriend of mine. I cried and cried until I got home. I was prepared for the worse. I loved him and he knew it. I gave him the paper and told him I understand if you don’t want to stay. I told him I didn’t know who, when, how, or why this has happened. I walled up. He was upset but saw how hard it was for me taking the news. I’ve never had an STD before. This was the first diagnosis I’ve ever had. I considered myself safe all my life. So he assured me that we’ll get through this. Safe to say, we’ve been together since. We’ve been married for almost 7 years. He couldn’t imagine life without me and I without him. I make sure that during times when a bout is about to come on, I abstain. He lives me totally and doesn’t care if he has it because he’s with me. We have grown co-dependent on each other. One thing I worry about, since he’s been diagnosed with cirrhosis, if he passes will I ever find love again. Idk, but maybe I might not. Just knowing that somebody loved me deeply in spite of all he had to endure is good. I might and who knows but that relationship will never be like the one I have now.

  40. whyme says:

    If I’m non active do I still need med now r wait

  41. shey says:

    I’ve been with one guy for the past 2 years. I recently found out I have type 2.We don’t know what end it came from but we’ven ever used protection even while I think I had outbreaks these whole 2 years but I was recently tested 2 weeks ago. If I had it is it possible he has too?

  42. anonymous says:

    So… Question: if your not having symptoms can you still pass it along? I thought my doc said only if you are having an outbreak is when you can pass it along? (Of course using comdoms help prevent spreading it too)

  43. Anonymous says:

    I have hav 2 genitally. The man I am seeing does not have herpes. He has a low immune system from a kidney transplant. My questions are. What are some full cover condom issues to protect the base area and 2, I have never had oral herpes. Can I transmit herpes to him genitally when I have never had them orally?

  44. anonymous says:

    so I just got herpes and im in shock I don’t know how to feel about it. when I started to feel the blisters on my vag I went to the doctors right away and she told me I had it. I don’t know how to go about it. I’ve only been with my boyfriend for a year and we haven’t cheated on each other. we are very faithful and he’s real understanding but he doesn’t know if he has it or not but we had sex and I had blisters on my vag. does that automatically mean he has it already? after my blisters go away will we be able to have sex again but with out a condom? we plan on staying together and working through it but I need more information on it. we are both confused with the situation. :(

  45. Chris says:

    Hi me and my girlfriend recently had sex and I was wondering since we both are virgins can we still get stds since we have only been with each other and now she has signs of herpes but could it be a latex allergic reaction?

  46. Anonymous says:

    I was went for a regular std screening and the doctor asked if i would like blood drawn to test for herpes and i said ok. So today the clinic called for me to come in and the doctor told me my test came back positive for herpes type II. Im not sure when i got it or how long i have had it. I have 3 kids and all of them are fine. In just shocked in disbelief because i dont have any symptoms.

  47. Anonymous says:

    I’m a 16 year old guy and I’m scared I have herpes. I have a rash on my gential area. I have bumps right below the head of my penis. They are not filled with puss. I’m so scared. Here’s the thing I haven’t had sex yet I’m a virgin. I know my two parents bout had herpes when I was in the womb. Could I have gotten it from birth. I’m so scared because I don’t want this to ruin my chance to get happily married and have kids. I don’t get why gods doing this to me. Also I have had this going on since I was 13 just know starting to research and I’m so scared.

  48. Ryan says:

    I have herpes 1. I want to kiss my girlfriend. Am I allowed?

  49. anonymous says:

    I was diagnosed with herpes via sight test in the ER…I begged the doc to do a blood sample or culture to be sure but she refused! Here is what happened…I was at work…I felt fine I just had urinate so I went to the restroom…I urinated…no burning or stinging..the only pain I felt is when I wiped…I nearly jumped off the toilet! I looked at my vagina and I saw a long line…it hurt to touch it( fissure)..I thought I scratched myself…I thought nothing of it and went back to work…by the time I got home I was feeling discomfort, but no bumps of anykind…I went to sleep….it’s important to mention that I have chronic bv and yeast infections…I thought it was that…I woke up and looked at my vagina and saw a sore…just one…I didn’t think it was herpes…I showed my boyfriend I got dressed and went to the ER….they gave me valtrex…the outbreak was horrible…I had it for two months while taking valtrex with no relief…a couple days after my diagnosis I went to my doctor…she did a culture and blood test…it all came back negavtive!! I still have my paperwork! So, my doc eventually took me off valtrex…I got tested again six months later results were negative! I got tested a year later…NEGATIVE! I get tested yearly all negative except two years ago I tested positive for hsv1 it’s been 7 years I haven’t had a outbreak or a cold sore….what’s going on???????

    • Edukateme says:

      I’m having a similar issue. Monday night I had casual “normal” unprotected intercourse with my boyfriend of a little over a year. Afterwards my vagina felt swollen and irritated. I have endometriosis so sometimes painful sex isn’t out of the ordinary for me. Also, my birth control pills do not aid in my self lube all the time. So I thought maybe I wasn’t wet enough. The next night, when we started to have sex again, it was far too painful and I made him stop. I felt like his penis was a knife (painful to say the least). So we immediately stopped, I rinsed off and fell asleep. Wednesday came and I could barely walk. And urinating was a nightmare! I knew something was wrong… So after my shower I had my boyfriend check me out down there while I held a mirror to see for myself as well. That night it looked very irritated at the base of my vagina, it was red and swollen. I felt a bump and we checked it out, it was flesh colored and was more of a lump. I still just chalked it up to irritation after sex. Well the pain never went away, in fact it got worse. What was one bump Wednesday night turned into three by Friday morning. My discharge had increased and it was odorless. I headed straight to the doctors for him to diagnose me with herpes by just looking at it. I’m in total disbelief. I have practiced safe sex from day one, with the exception of my current boyfriend. He has never had an outbreak and no weird symptoms that even hint that he had any STDs. I’m aware that it could be dormant in most people but how come I broke out so fast after the painful sex? And to be honest my bumps don’t look like those I’ve seen on the Internet. They are only on the tear that occurred on Monday night and no place else. I found out the culture test results, negative for HSV-1 and 2. Do I believe the test or the doctors at a glance diagnosis?

    • Anonymous says:

      Try a shot of Mother Vinegar x 2/day x 1-day. It is highly unlikely you have Herpes. It is highly likely that your balance is off. This can be caused by wearing non hypo-allergenic items such as scented pantyliners, scented powders and things of that nature. Vaginal tears can also happen when a women is stressed and will appear after her menstrual, therefore, often mistaken for Herpes2. If Vinegar doesn’t work, try changing your diet by reducing or eliminating sugars. Look up pics. Herpes sores do not typically look like paper cuts, this is what you are experiencing: vaginal tears and they burn and flare up because urine gets on them, try rinsing with cold water instead of wiping just dab with tp, try using baby desitin for fast healing next outbreak. LS auto-immune is another cause. Another cause can be meno-pause. And there is a small list, google this, but symptoms somewhat resemble Herpes2. But you can keep testing if it gives you the Negative Peace of Mind, why not.

  50. Anonymous says:

    I was told that I got herpes two years ago when I got sick from a uti does that mean anything because after my uti cleaned up I suffered from sores around my vagina. Does that mean I have the STI?

  51. Stacey says:


  52. Sue says:

    I had it for 8 years b4 i found out… no noticed outbreaks no flare ups nothing… old obg never said a thing recently started seeing a new one and she told me the news… i knew it was 8 yrs bc my ex recently had died and his sister said he had it… needed to know

  53. Sue says:

    And yes ive had chicken pox

  54. MJ says:

    I’m in a very confused state right now. I’m a male. Last month I had what appeared to be a break out. It was about 12am and I was in bed, I was adjusting myself and felt a bump. I thought hmm that’s weird maybe just a ingrown, it happens. Then within 5 minutes I had a group of bumps. I freaked out. Now at this point I haven’t had sex in a little over a year. Last year I was told I had herpes 1.
    I went to get checked out the next day which was around 11am, and all the bumps were gone. The doctor said he couldn’t really do anything because there was nothing to check. I showed him pictures and he basically said it looks like herpes but had never seen it go away so fast with nothing left behind. So I asked again to take an std test and check for everything. Again they came back clear expect for herpes 1. Now if I had an outbreak on my penis, wouldn’t that be herpes 2? I’m just very confused as to what I actually have considering I had never had an out reak in my life and still to this day haven’t had sex in about 14months.

  55. Anonymous says:

    I had sex with one guy from since last 5 years can you tel me if nw i sex with other guy does he know that i had sex before?

  56. Lisa says:

    I just got diagnosed with type 1 from a swab on my genitals due to my partner passing it to Me from oral. My question is will My outbreaks now be on my genitals because that’s where they were contracted?!

  57. Josh says:

    Ive never had sex before but i see these red spots on my genitals. I get cold sores so i know i have HSV1…. can that cause those spots? Like i said, ive never had sex before

  58. Julia says:

    This made my entire day better. Not diagnosed yet but scared out of my mind. Luckily my guys loves me more than anything, even though we just started seeing each other. I just want to feel normal

  59. Hailey says:

    I recently had an outbreak. My Dr is testing for herpes. She said she’s pretty sure it was caused from oral sex and cold sores, because I’ve come back negative before and I remembered my fiance had a cold sore about a month ago when he he did oral. No here is my issue… I’ve told him about it… And he said he doesn’t know if he can be with me anymore because of this. And because he’s clean. I told him since he has cold sores he has a form of herpes but that didn’t help…

    What can I do…. What can I say to him…. I love him dearly and would do anything for this man.. I don’t want to loose him. What can I say??

  60. Anonymous says:

    so a girl i bearily kissed called me and told me that she just found out that she had herp there was no slobber no tung just a lil childs kiss there was no bump on her lips or anything..ive been flipping out looking at myself every five minute and sat will make it two weeks since the kiss is it possible that i mite be infected i went to the hospital today and they said that they had to wait to see bumps appear on me first is there any way that i can know before then or do i have to live in fear intil somthing appears?

    • Kevin says:

      Oh man this one was funny dude. I dont mean to laugh but holy crap. Its only hsv 1 dude. Its whatever. 90% of people have hsv 1. I have hsv 2. Its a bit more serious to the general public.

  61. J Morales says:

    I had herpes going on 4 yrs now and i have 2 beautiful kids with 2 diffrent women and i never passed it on to none of my both kids mom

  62. Mary Sue says:

    My boyfriend told me about a month ago that he thinks he has herpes and caught it from the previous relationship in February. We have had unprotected sex before any outbreaks and he has even came inside a lot. Thats not my concern though, my concern is I love to please him orally, So once the doctor said he had it and that oral sex is a no-no, it broke my heart…. I plan to spend the rest of my life with this man and i need another way to put his dick in my mouth with out getting herpes as well. Someone please help.

  63. Anonymous says:

    So I got drunk and ended up making out with this older woman. I asked her if I would catch anything by sleeping with her and she said she was clean, she wouldn’t do that to someone. I haven’t tested but when you know you know right. I’m scared to deal with this.

  64. Anonymous says:

    I guess what I need to know is what steps do I need to take?

  65. Anonymous says:

    Hi so I just found out today I have HSV-2 and I have been dating a guy. We only had sex once but found out I was having an outbreak on the inside. How likely is it that he has it? And can he get tested now?

  66. ZT says:

    I was diagnosed with HSV-2 May 2015. My husband and I had only been married for a month at that time. I have never had a symptom of HSV-2. Having this virus has been really hard on our sex life, because he won’t kiss me or have sex with me for fear of getting it. Because he read that it can be transferred in every bodily fluid. I am a very sexual person and want nothing more than to make love to my husband, can anyone of share a way for me to get back to a normal sex life with my husband?

  67. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been diagnosed with it for almost a year, & I’ve only had one breakout .. But how do I know if it safe for me to have sex or not ? Or kiss someone ?

    • Anonymous says:

      A got herpes for more the six years a been with my girl for five a dont get breakout in my penis the she got tru those five years been together.

  68. Idiot girl says:

    I’ve just been diagnosed with both HSV1 and HSV2. I was clean just 2 months ago. I’ve had unprotected sex like crazy and we were all clean and all of a sudden I got a Brazilian wax and these burning bumps appeared. At first I thought it was vaginal folliculitus, but as I treated it, it wouldn’t leave and vaginal folliculitis and herpes look very similar. A week ago I was tested and diagnosed with both the herpes simplex viruses. Please help I need a cure I’m just a teen I need to live a normal life.

  69. Megan says:

    I have herpes on my vagnia and butt, and everytime I close my legs or sit down I have a liquid coming out. What is it?

  70. Anonymous says:

    So I was just told by my obgyn that I have genital herpes on my vagina. He put me on the treatment medicine and said I will be a lot better in 5 days. My concern is that my husband and I was wanting to try for another baby in 5-10 years, but with everything I read online I will have this for life and sex will be a possible never. My doctor said I contacted it from having chicken pox as a kid. I feel disgusting, upset, dirty, and awful. I feel like the biggest diseased person. I am a very faithful wife. I have been with my husband for 9 years and never looked, touched, talked, or done anything with another man. Can someone give me some insight or some better help here, please….

    • Hernonymous says:

      I got it back in 2006. I couldn’t believe it. I was with this new boyfriend for about 6 months. I got the diagnosis when I couldn’t sit anymore in my chair. I didn’t know I was having an outbreak. Funny thing though, the morning I started hurting, I mistook the wrong body wash for a walnut exfoliant. I thought I broke out. Nope, they took one look and gave me the diagnosis. The hardest thing was explaining it to this new boyfriend of mine. I cried and cried until I got home. I was prepared for the worse. I loved him and he knew it. I gave him the paper and told him I understand if you don’t want to stay. I told him I didn’t know who, when, how, or why this has happened. I walled up. He was upset but saw how hard it was for me taking the news. I’ve never had an STD before. This was the first diagnosis I’ve ever had. I considered myself safe all my life. So he assured me that we’ll get through this. Safe to say, we’ve been together since. We’ve been married for almost 7 years. He couldn’t imagine life without me and I without him. I make sure that during times when a bout is about to come on, I abstain. He lives me totally and doesn’t care if he has it because he’s with me. We have grown co-dependent on each other. One thing I worry about, since he’s been diagnosed with cirrhosis, if he passes will I ever find love again. Idk, but maybe I might not. Just knowing that somebody loved me deeply in spite of all he had to endure is good. I might and who knows but that relationship will never be like the one I have now.

  71. Anonymous says:

    I found out today that I have genital herpes after three days of ulcers on my vagina lips, my partner thinks I cheated but I didn’t, could he have been the one to give it to me even though he has no symptoms? I know mine flared up because I am stressed. I have had other partners that could have but when you get results back from the doctor do you find out the exact date you got herpes??

  72. Anonymous says:

    I’m 14 and have herpes but I don’t want to tell my parents what do I do?

  73. shawn says:

    is it possible to have herpes even though you are a virgin and your parents dont have it?????? not too long ago i started to have weird things on my genitals usually like ”crusty” things???

  74. Anonymous says:

    So today I found out that I have genital herpes. I’m a female and I’m gay. My girlfriend is prone to cold sores orally and it’s only herpes simplex 1. Doctor told me that I could either have gotten it from her or have been dormant to it even though I have been tested for STDs before. So she took the test to find out if it’s type 1 or type 2. I’m praying that it’s type 1 because then I know I got it from my girlfriend. Well, today I went through excruciating pain. She had to cut open my sores and swab them then take the speculum and put it in my vagina. Even tho before the test I couldn’t sit down right. Now, I can’t sit at all and I constantly feel like I have an insane amount of pressure on my cervix. Like where a tampon goes in. It feels like there’s one stuck in there. How do I deal with this discomfort and pain? Because I also have a severe UTI and I can’t pee at all. I’m on 5 different medications…someone help please.

  75. Anonymous says:

    My husband gave my herpes and he claimed he was told that he could have had it for over ten years and he did not know it. How long can you have the virus before an outbreak happens?

  76. Anonymous says:

    When I was 20 I was raped – I’d never had sex before, and the guy gave me HSV 2. This was the second time something like this happened to me … the first time I was 8, and it was an older foster cousin who abused me. I have had such a horrible time trying to deal with what happened before finding out I got HSV, and then when I found out, I really wanted to die. For a while it was all I could think about, I felt worthless and like my life was over. Every time there was a ‘herpes joke’ on a tv show, or I heard anyone talking about rape or STIs I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It’s been 5 years since I was raped, 4 since I found out I had HSV, and although most of the time I feel okay, whenever I have a breakout all those feelings come rushing back. I wish I knew how to get over these feelings and move on. I haven’t told my family or any of my friends about any of this and don’t want to … but sometimes it all feels like more than I can handle.

    • Hernonymous says:

      I understand your pain. I too was raped around 14. Then again at 15. It is a bitter pill to swallow. I told my mom and she doesn’t know how to console me with a lot of things. Sometimes I feel like the martyr in the family. I am 35 and have had a hysterectomy, uterine cancer, diabetes, and then herpes. Your life can go on, mine will never be the same. I don’t have children and never will. You will find love. You will go forward and have children. Have a normal life. The sad thing is, the guy who gave it to me doesn’t know he’s been infecting people for years. He viewed me as a curse. I cried and thought about it and said to myself, “he’ll be back.” See he has unprotected sex with women. Maybe that’s why his relationships never pan out. It cuts deep. It’s hard. You’ll forget you have it until you have an outbreak. I haven’t had one since 2010. Everytime I thought that what was going on, it turned out to be a yeast infection. You’ll live. Enjoy your life. Be an advocate for protected sex. If anyone asks why, tell them that you want to protect yourself from the known and unknown. Have fun with life.

  77. Dm says:

    I have been in a monogamous relationship for almost 5years. Idk if I have the disease bc I go to the doctor tomorrow, is it possible that I’ve had it 6+ years and never known? I don’t want to assume my partner is cheating on me.

  78. Arjae says:

    Getting tested this week. About six months ago me and the mother of my unborn child split up, I got involved with a one night stand. A few days later me and the baby mom got back together, had sex multiple times. Few days later my junk started to feel weird, I had recently shaved with a new type of razor n got razor burn so she was telling me that’s where the burning was coming from. I knew something was wrong though. So I admitted about the one night stand. She was infuriated. We split up. I’ve been initially tested since I was experiencing itching on my thighs and discomfort. Test came back negative. I’ve had unprotected sex with two other female since and of course I told them about my freakout. They said I was just being a hypochondriac. I’ve never had and sores n the females I was with said they’re fine. They’ve even performed oral on me. I have had aching in my right side of my groin and right thigh though. Also my mouth has felt dirty and from time to time my lips feel dry n numbish. My child’s mother has been tested and is clean, I still feel clammy n discomfort like something isn’t right down there. I’m back with my baby’s mother, she’s due in three months. I told her I still feel like something is wrong and want to get tested again since it could take awhile to show up. Part of me feels crazy but what are the odds that I would experience alike symptoms a week after my one night stand? This is all confusing to me… I’m praying for the best.

  79. Arjae says:

    Also I told the two females before hand, and haven’t been intimate with my baby’s mom yet till I get tested. I also experience lower spine pain/aching especially when I stand for long periods of time.

  80. Anonymous says:

    I have a wife (she doesn’t have herpes) and I want to have a baby with her. Will I transmit the virus to her? Please help.

  81. Anonymous says:

    I am a male and I had sex with another man. He performed anal on me and gave me a bj. If my mouth did not touch any part of his body, is it still possible I may have contracted an STD in my mouth?

  82. Beth says:

    I was with a man for like 3 min. He had a condom on at the beginning and a then i asked if it was still on because it felt different and he looked and it was off. 2 days later i started having symptoms down there. he says he just had chlamydia but I tested negative… Im waiting for test results but i think i have herpes :(
    i think he took the condom off on purpose bc he has in the past. I told him that I’m having symptoms and he said he was clean and called me horrible names. I have not had sex in over a year except with him one time and he was in and out bc of condom coming off. This is so terrible!
    I don’t have much of a sex drive so i hardly do have sex and I cant believe I have this.

  83. Annon107 says:

    90% of the time I have protected sex. I went to get tested for all STDs from a doctor that was not my normal doctor, I get tested every 6 to 10 months because I am a stressed out paranoid person. The test came back positive for HSV 2. The doctor said it was an “old infection” I could have had for years or months before this test (my test before this one was 5 months prior). The girl I was with during that time, and 2 years, was negative, the other two before her are also negative. That was about 10 to 11 months ago. I have had no symptoms except sometimes the head of my penis is itchy. I know 3 people who have it and all had visible symptoms with in 6 months of contracting HSV. From what I understand some blood tests are very accurate but not 100%. So is there a chance that the test is wrong, also is there any test other than a blood test that is more accurate.

  84. Anonymous1 says:

    I have been in a five year relationship. I found out I had herpes before I got pregnant with our baby. I was so scared I didn’t want my baby to get it. My Doc gave my medication to take for my last trimester. My daughter is fine. The problem is I never told my partner that I have it. I am petrified!!!!!!! The way I hear him talking about if he ever got a STD he would flip. I don’t want him to flip out on me. Before the baby, he cheated, in returned I cheated out of revenge. I don’t know how I got it. He mostly has it though. Recently he had complained of his penis hurting. I just don’t know how to tell him. I feel like this is something that I will take to the grave! He is not the type that goes to the doctor. He believes in natural healing. I tried to get him to go , but he won’t. This is a very messed up situation to be in! I am the only person that knows. I will never tell ANYONE that I have herpes. Society is too judgemental. I hear people saying “Ughhh herpes is so disgusting and filthy.” Why would I tell someone that I have it, if that’s how they feel about it. I pray to god that, there will be a cure for this soon! This has really changed my life, so I can relate to a lot of you.

  85. Carrie9069 says:

    I’m A 45 female who can probably name everyone of my sexual partners as I married for 11 yrs and divorced for 12. I’ve been having sex off and on with this 1 guy for the last 3 yrs when he is in town (military) we just recently hooked up 30 days ago for the 1st time after his tour overseas and the very next day I was having some discomfort and went to the doctors a few days later. I was told I had a UTI but told them my vagina was on fire. They gave me the orange pills and antibiotics to ease with help when I pee and help with the infection. It didn’t go away again I did a urine test positive for an UTI they gave me another type of antibiotics, it still didn’t go away and the last time I request for someone to examine my vagina and no one did just gave me some Cipro and sent me on my way, another week later I had my annual gyno appointment immediately she saw some sores and told me it looks like I had the herpes virus and did 3 culture swaps, positive.
    I immediately teared up and felt embarrassed, dirty, ashamed and pissed off all at the same time. I’m not sexual promiscuous I’ve always valued my self with safe sex and partners, thinking why me. How does this happen. I’m still home confused as the not knowing if the virus was in me the entire time or did HE give it to me that weekend after his return to the states. I don’t know how to cope with all of this. Any encouraging things that may be useful for me… I’m so confused.

  86. anonymous says:

    I May have contracted it Tuesday. When can I go to the doctor for a blood test to find out for sure?

  87. Anonymous says:

    If you have sex with someone with genital herpes I think. How early would I start showing symptoms?

  88. I was recently diagnosed with hsv2 and would like to know if it is healthy for two people with this disease to have a normal sex life.

  89. anonymous says:

    I had sex with a girl about 5 days ago and yesterday i noticed a small part on my genital area it was red and irritated also opened and leaking just a little i started to feel tired throughout the day then today i started urinating a bunch of times it hurt and urine ba relt came out its been about 6 days altogether i havent went to a doctor because i dont want my family to find out or my friends but i know its most likely genital herpes because the sex was unprotected she told me she didnt have anything and idk i was caught in the moment and the girl sleeps with everyone i messed up and now i just want to give up im only 19 and just started college i had alot going for me but but now i feel like i dont have shit i havent been diagnosed but this can be nothing else ive been researching it and i cant stop thinking about thus i ruined my life.

    • Maria says:

      I am 19 years old and I have herpes type 2. My advice would be to educate yourself as much as possible about . I just started college as well. As a matter of a fact my bf of 5 years called me the day I fjnished enrolling to give me the news that he tested positive for type 2 .. Im sort of lost for words because we are in the same postiion. I can’t say not to stress because it’s almost impossible not to …

  90. Anonymous says:

    I met this girl first time we had sex was Friday. She said she didn’t know that she had herpes and her first out break was Sunday. So I went to the Dr had a bump on my junk he looked at it and said it is not herpes. And when I touch it it does not hurt. Do I have cause for concern or am I just being paranoid?

  91. Anonymous says:

    I recently found out I have HSV1 and I’ve been with my partner for three years and never had so much as an outbreak it sent me into a depression …I have two kids and not knowing I had it makes me scared what if I’ve passed it. My nerves are on edge my partner now thinks I cheated and I haven’t …I feel like it’s the end of the world …I know stress is a main cause of an outbreak but I can’t stop stressing and thinking were did I get it! How long have I had it …:-( idk what to do

  92. Anonymous says:

    I’m a 17 year old male, and a few weeks ago I hooked up with this girl and a few days after that I heard about something about her having sex with like 3 dudes and she was drunk and rememberes one dude. I didn’t know anything about this and she was coming on to me so I said why not. And I also heard that one of the guys she had sex with was searching up stuff about herpes. I was freaking out but didn’t have any symptoms yet. I did start having little random tingles in my balls and a little tingle in my lips but all I would have on my lips was just a little red spot but I also looked really closely and saw two small tiny little pimple things next to each other on my bottom lip, and I could barley see them and couldn’t even feel them. And now the girl is hooking up with another person I know and I was asking him if he has any signs or symptoms of herpes and he said no and was laughing about. I’m really scared and feel like I have it but I am not sure. I got tested about 3 weeks after and am still waiting for the result but I am scared that it won’t show because it was too early. And I also had a pimple in my mustache area that was yellow and I don’t know if it was a cold sore or a pimple. I am not a man whore or anything like that and usually am pretty careful with who I kiss but I didn’t think anything about the girl I hooked up with last cause I’m so used to just hooking up without thinking if she’s herpes or not. I just want someone to tell me if it seems like I have it or not because I need a proffesiinal opinion Andy sister and mom do not know.

  93. Concern says:

    I was told I have herpes by my doctor! I’m trying to find out how long I have been walking around with it! I just started having symptoms about 6/8 mos ago! My guy friend says he had been tested and is clean. I have only had sex with him and no one else in 27 years I wondering if I contracted this from him he had been unfaithful to me that I have found out! If said a female told him sometime ago after they had sec that she had herpes, so would it take 27 years to show signs and could he have given it to me even though he shows no sign for as I know. Is there anyway of knowing who affected who? I’m so worried and confused, I refuse to have sex with anyone else. I’ve always pride myself to having sex with only person at a time and I have not been with anyone else in that time. Anyone can shed any light on my situation I would appreciate it!!! Thanks

    • Anonymous says:

      Hi I’m in the same situation this almost cost me a divorce. I just found out that I had herpes I’ve been married for 25 yes and have been faithful. . The doctors told me that I could have had them since before I meet my husband and was b early getting the outbreak now..makes no sense to me.. I’m very confused and scared

    • Anonymous says:

      Same here. I’ve been married for 16 years and have never had any signs of it until recently. I went and got tested and it was positive for HSV2. My husband has never had traditional signs either. It’s tricky. Sometimes the signs are not so obvious. It’s often mistaken for hemmroids(sp), pimple or razor burn. I’m completely freaked out by this. My first outbreak was so minor I thought it was panty irritation. Now, a year later, it has returned. Some people don’t have any signs ever. Some people break out every month. I just want to cry all of the time. I’ve never had an STD before. I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this.

  94. help says:

    Q and A how am I ever supposed to live a normal life with my partner if I tell ooo wait u can’t go down on me! Should I still let him or is one of the cons I now must face?

  95. jennifer says:

    I just wanna say that when I went to hospital to get checked cause my finger was breaking out constantly and when they got test done I found out i had herpes 1 and 2. I cheated on my husband but I take responsibly for it, but I believe he was too but it’s hard to deal with. I get it thrown in my face everyday in my face. How do I deal with this? Help me.

  96. Anonymous says:

    i kissed my boyfriend before dating him weeks later he told me he had herpes does that means that ihave a chance to have herpes too im scare because im only 18years old what can ido ireally like him but idk what to do

  97. Anonymous says:

    So I was tested for herpes after I broke out down below the waist but was negative for herpes type 2 but positive for type 1? I guess I’m confused how that works if I have never broke out anywhere else?

  98. mrs garcia says:

    My boyfriend tested positive for herpes but I never got an outbreak and neither has he I’m confused please help what should I do

  99. Dominyc says:

    My girlfriend private area is a little irritated, her doctor told her it might be herpes. Now she is freaking out saying that I probably got her infected because I was with a girl 3 years ago. And even though I never had any symptoms and neither has her for those 3 years, now she wants to dump me if the results are positive. Is tha even possible to have herpes and never have a breakout for 3 years? Please help,!

  100. jasmine f says:

    so I have had oral sex before and I think I may have genital herpes because I sometimes get red sores on my vagina and I’m really scared to get tested. I also don’t want my parents to find out because I’m only 14 and they would kill me

  101. Anonymous says:

    i just found out i have herpes and i told my boyfriend right away and he flipped out and doesn’t want to talk to me right now. now i did have chicken pox when i was younger so idk if that could have caused it because i know i didn’t cheat and my boyfriend had gotten tested a few weeks ago and he didn’t have it. so i don’t know how to explain it to him because he seems to think i had to cheat! which is not the case. idk what to do and if we are going to work out now. also as far as kissing is concerned can i kiss, eat, share a drink with someone if i have herpes but i don’t have a cold sore??

  102. Sash says:

    A month ago my Boyfriend found out he got herpes. And we are newly dated. Now I am worried if I got herpes too? What should I do?

  103. Anonymous says:

    My boyfriend just told me he have a severe pain in his groin. Could that be herpes? I’m scared if he have it then I might have it too.
    Not long ago, he told me he have sex with his ex girl who happens to be a married woman and another sex with a lady when he was on vacation. Our relationship was on and off and it was just this Feb that we decided to give it another try. I was in a relationship with another man, but we broke up last year June. I don’t know what to do. Any help?

  104. super confused says:

    Okay this is probably a stupid question but I got diagnosed literally 3 hours ago and got handed meds and a book on herpes, I just want to know, if you have oral herpes but are not having an outbreak can you still pass it on to a partner by kissing? Like am I safe to kiss my boyfriend or future partners without giving them herpes or is any contact with me going to give someone a life long virus that is awkward and uncomfortable to talk about and deal with?

    • No Name says:

      I was raped n found out shortly after I had herpes. It was so painful. Took medicine everyday (don’t remember exactly how long). Few years later was in a long term relationship that lasted many years, told him pretty quickly. We had lots of unprotected sex. At that time I thought as long as I had no symptoms we were safe. A couple years after we broke up he did tell me he got tested n came back not having it. So I know it is very possible to have a relationship n not pass it. Now recently I was seeing someone, told him n he was terrified about it. He stayed a lil even wanted me to give oral. Last few days before we ended I had swollen glands. He now thinks I ruined his life n gave it to him wo having any symptoms prior. I now have a cold sore. Idk if from stress, a recent cold, getting flu shot or 2 red bumps I noticed on his genital tip. We never had genital sex but did mess around. I’ve had this for awhile n am still learning about it. Besides antiviral meds there’s vitamins that help, good/bad foods during outbreaks. Anyone w this, all I can really say is trust ur body, anytime u feel something wrong, oral or genital take the meds. Don’t wait til it’s a full blown outbreak. Some people accept it while others are so worried about getting it. It sucks to be stuck with it but it can be treated. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your damaged goods.

  105. Anonymous says:

    if a man doesn’t show you his private does that tell you that he have herpes or some kind of disease

  106. anonymous says:

    I just found out three weeks ago I have herpes type 2. I’ve been Married to my husband for 7 yrs I found out 3 months ago he has been unfaithful and the women says he gave her herpes. Of course I confronted him and he denied it. Well since then we both were tested and both were given positive results. I have a 3yr old son. I’m afraid of giving it to him. I don’t knot know how long I’ve had it. I’m freaking out. I’ve never had an outbreak that I know of nothing abnormal

  107. Anonymous says:

    So i have herpes for some years now, i recently got a gf and i had an healed blister, a few days later she said she has a blister since a few days ago, do you think you got herpes from me, will blisters show that fast?

  108. Anonymous says:

    My gf has type 2 can i get it if i kiss her? She has not had an out break yet…. and i was just wondering.

  109. JustMe says:

    I had a first date with this guy I was flirting with online. We ended up having sex. One week later he says that I gave him Hs, that he is pretty sure it was me. I don’t have it, as far as I know. But scheduled labs and a drs visit as soon as he told me. Now I’m waiting for the results and I’m friking out. What if he had it and gave it to me, what if I had it and didn’t know it. It’s so unreal and such a bad feeling.

    • Anonymous says:

      I found out a few months ago I have but I been with my partner for years how do I tell him that he might have to with out playing the blame game because I’m so unsure how this happened

  110. Kevin says:

    No dude you cant. Type 2 can only be given if you give oral or if you dip your junk in it. Hsv-2 really isnt anything far as guys go most dont even notice it. It looks like acne or bug bites.

  111. Ashley foster says:

    Do anyone have little markings inside labia that may be herpes

  112. Anonymous says:

    I’ve had herpes for 4 years now. The only reason I know I have it os because they where doing blood test for it at my health department a research study. I wouldn’t of knew if they didn’t offer to tale my blood, they usually don’t test for herpes unless you ask or have signs. Its been 4years no out break not one symptom….EVER. So I have no idea how long I really had it.

    • Ashely says:

      I have recently tested positive for both, never have had symptoms. Do you take medication for it? I’m curious if I should, I don’t have symptoms and I don’t want to interfere with my body naturally suppressing it.

  113. Gail says:

    85% of the population have herpes you can live with herpes.just be honest with your sexual partners.

  114. Sue says:

    I just went to the dr yesterday and she found an abrasion inside my vagina I didn’t even know it was there I went to the dr because I was suffering from a UTI.. She swabbed the abrasion to test it and she said it is likely I have herpes I’m 21 years old and I feel like my life is over. My boyfriend and I broke up in June and we both had other partners during the summer we have been back together for 3 months now and I’m not sure if he gave it to me or I got it from someone else of the results come back positive how do I even go about talking

  115. Anonymous says:

    So I think I have it, went to my doctor. Not for sure she did a skin test. When she first brought it up, I start crying. I wanted to die at first. But I have a few good guys friends that are really supportive. Now my family…they hate me. They are disgusted with me. And it makes my life worse cause I still live in there house.

    • Anonymous says:

      I found out a few months ago I have but I been with my partner for years how do I tell him that he might have to with out playing the blame game because I’m so unsure how this happened….I haven’t told anyone I’m scared of people reaction

  116. jack mehoff says:

    I dont know where you get your facts.. but
    1. herpes is a devastating desease.. not a minor skin irratation.. it causes painful gross blisters that itch and ooze .. and hurt can scab and cause fever and malase and other problems as well..

    2. if you have small infant – you are walking timebomb.. of death..
    3. you can catch it from an inanimate object.. absolutely..

    there have been dozens of cases in witch all family members have become infected with in 2- 3 weeks after primary infection in one family member.. so it must have come via towels dirty toilet sheets . door knobs silverware.. glasses etc..

    I for one contracted it from an inanimate object.. i am sure .. because i was one for the fortunate ones to get primary clinical onset.. with gingostomatis i was 26.. and i was disabled from a back injury in car accident living with parents.. – at the time. i did not date because of lack of funds and work ……. i didn’t work. the only people i interacted with was my parents.. – who don’t have sores and never have had. i don’t share glasses or silverware with them and never have had.. i didn’t kiss either of them or have physical contact with them – i was 26 years old…. and disabled. i was able to care myself just not work .. — so when i got this , i asked my dr how the heck i got it.. i don’t have sex or relations with anyone i don’t kiss anyone .. i don’t share food and glasses with anyone… so how did i get it.. he said kids get it all the time from putting dirty things in their mouth.. usually off the floor.. — of course i didn’t do this .. but ask your self where did the very first person get herpes from? not another person – it had to exist in the wild somewhere.. viruses live in the wild.. — people can spread them but they exist in the wild.. – so even if dirty off the floor where did i get this – i am pretty anal when it comes to cleanliness and cross contamination etc in the kitchen.. – the only thing i can gather.. is i went to a restaurant about 5 days before my infection started.. a restaurant that was shut down by the health board about 2 weeks later. it was a season restaurant in a summer vacation town – my granny was in town.. and insisting in taking us out to dinner. i can only suspect i got it from dirty utensils or something in a filthy restaurant.. that is all i can figure – but it sure does blow holes in your – you getting from skin to skin contact kissing and sex.. none of which i even close to had.. and no one can say i had contracted long before i got first outbreak.. because i had primary clinical onset with high fever and gingostomatis.. – you only get this with initial contraction .. i was never exposed to the hsv virus previously…….. so there now you know the truth.. be careful before disseminate wrong advice ..

  117. Anonymous says:

    Your information is incorrect: herpes *can* be spread via inanimate objects. People have inadvertently infected their kids, for example, by sharing towels and washcloths. Please update your website to reflect this very important fact.

  118. Anonymous says:

    Reading these comments has made me feel a lot better and less alone. I just went to the dr today and she found a sore. I didn’t notice anything until she touched it and it stung really badly. She said she is being safe and having me tested. and now since I’ve been home I’ve noticed more tender bumps and leg pain. I’m pretty sure I have it. For those of you who do, do you take medicine every day or only when you have an outbreak? I know it’s a life long sentence and I just wanna be as normal as possible.

  119. Anonymous says:

    I went to the hospital last night because I had flu symptoms turns out I have the flu but I wanted him to look at a rash on my vag because I’m 6 months pregnant I told him I wore some irritating thongs and that’s when it started itching yesterday but when he looked he said it looks like herpes sores but it could be from the underwear he swabbed it but proscribed me medicine for herpes. Do u think I have herpes? I have never cried so much in my life.

  120. kim says:

    Hey i had a question i had protected sex with a guy 3 time, the condom broke each time but he removed right away and replaced it. I been feeling sweaty and sore near my butt and have a light cut on the top of my butt crack. How likely am i to have herpes and could this be herpes? It doesn’t hurt a lot unless i rubbed it. He also had no sores near or round him and he private was no where near my butt hole or the back part of my butt. Please help me figure this out

  121. anonymous says:

    From what I understand it’s more easily passed from a female to male because the female might not even know she has it because some ” female” outbreaks can occur up inside without ANY outward signs on the vaginal area EVER even in a full blown she can be in a outbreak on the INSIDE where it can not be seen and the male then exposes himself this way. some females NEVER have a outbreak on the outward area of the vaginal area making it even difficult to know when she’s having a outbreak on the inside. even after she is aware that she is positive she can’t be sure when she’s in a full outbreak because it can not be seen or felt. This is how the herpes are more easily spread from one to another person. common since says during a normal or visual outbreak a male would NOT be eager to have Intercourse with that person. in fact he would likely RUN. However the same results are achieved by having Intercourse with a female in a active outbreak on the inside that he can not see or feel. That is why safe sex is so important for personal protection. and yes, herpes CAN be spread even if the person is NOT in a active outbreak. when I learned I was positive, I couldn’t believe it.,because I’m one of the females who NEVER EVER have a outward outbreak. my outbreaks occur on the inside where I can NOT see or feel. in fact it’s extremely difficult to know when I am actually in a outbreak. I have to go by other subtle clues like I will run a low fever, I feel very rundown. in a way I suppose I’m fortunate because I don’t get any pain or sting that I hear is common with outward outbreaks. on the other hand, I can’t really be sure when my outbreaks are happening. This was a lovely gift from my EX who didn’t bother to tell me he was positive until about 6 months into our relationship..

  122. loyal13 says:

    If I received oral from someone with genital can I get herpes?

  123. Mel says:

    I found it today I have herpes how is it I have it in my apartment doesn’t I’ve been with my partner for 14 years and every test I took came out good until today I take classes every six month I only been with with this person for 14 years how is the he’s telling me he doesn’t have nothing

  124. Mshairstylist says:

    I will never forget when I found I had herpes… It was a week after my brother died and I was beyond stressed out… After the funeral I returned to school and within two days i was so sore and itchy down there i could hardly walk… I was in pure misery.. I’m not exactly sure who gave it to me or how long I had been living with it asymptomatically…. But I am absolutely sure that the traumatic experience of losing my little brother triggered the most got awful outbreak possible… My initial outbreak was my only one.. However,it lasted a solid 3 fucking months..I wanted to die.. I wanted to hide.. I wanted it all to go away!! I hated myself.. I hated what I’d let happen to my body.. I hated everything that I was feeling.. I thought for sure my life was over.. I’ve never been the most beautiful girl in the world, but I had officially became chopped fucking liver… Used goods… Damaged… Blah blah blah.. You name it i thought it.. But I was so wrong.. I was so negative about it.. But in a really odd way having herpes has kinda changed my life for the better.. OK I know that sounds insane, but hear me out.. If you wanna weed out the douchebags hit em with the h*bomb .. Lol I promise it’s a pretty fool proof tactic.. They will run for the hills.. And that will be OK.. Everything will be OK.. Because someday you will disclose your status to a guy who has already fallen in love with your heart and he will accept it as apart of you and If his intentions are true it will not sway him from loving you.. I am engaged to the most wonderful man on the planet now.. I told him i had it and well turns out he had hpv.. I explained to him that his hpv would probably clear ip on its on but that herpes was forever.. He laughed and said well can we just swap stds and be happy.. Talk about cooties huh… Lol well im happy to say that neither of us have hpv.. I never tested positive for it and his last test was negative.. So no warts!! Lol and he has never tested positive for herpes.. In fact I have been living with hsv for 3 years now and still have yet to have another outbreak. It gets better… And just because you have an STD does not make you a filthy person.. You are still human, you are still beautiful and you still deserve to be loved.. Ooh and we are expecting our first child October 2016!! I hope anyone who reads this finds their happy place some day!! Best of luck to you all!! God bless!!

  125. anonymous says:

    can you get herpes from someone that doesn’t sleep around like he only has sex with her and she only has sex with him ??

    • Anonymous says:

      It depends. Oral herpes (or HSV-1) is a very common thing. It is found to be prevalent in 60-90% of the population. You may get it by kissing a friend/relative on the cheek or something similar. It’s fairly easy to contract it. So yeah; you can get it even without sleeping around. Genital herpes (either HSV-1 or HSV-2) is somewhat more obscure. It requires skin contact in that area (sex, oral sex etc.) so you could say that it is hard to get it without sleeping around. There are some cases of a cold sore infecting your own genitals (although pretty rare). Lastly, you shouldn’t rule out the possibility that either of you may already be infected with genital herpes and just not shown any symptoms. Apparently, 90% of the carriers don’t even know they have herpes, in the first place because 2/3 never show symptoms (asymptomatic). So, there are many variables to consider.

  126. Alan says:

    I’m not gay but this is a question.
    If a boy haves sex with another boy,Will they have herpes?

    • Anonymous says:

      Herpes is contracted via skin contact, so it doesn’t really matter what kind of sexual relationship you have. If one of the two partners has herpes there is a good chance that the other one may get it.

  127. Caitlyn says:

    I am 12 and have genital herpes. I have never had sex or kissed anyone. You don’t have to make physical contact with someone who has herpes to contract it.

  128. Someone says:

    I am 17 years old and I think I might have herpes. When I was in elementary school, I was molested by my next door neighbour. He was only a couple years older than me so when I told my parents what had happened they thought I was experimenting with boys and nothing more. As a child I didn’t know the difference between experimenting and molestation so I let it go and pretended that nothing happened. As a freshman in high school I started to get these questionable sores. I didn’t think anything about it. As a sophomore they got worse and I developed more but they just kept going away so I thought it might have been razor burn. Now that I’m basically done with high school I’ve been more sexually active but I have never experienced penetration during sex. As time passes I experience these same sores and I am wondering if this is herpes considering my past. I can’t tell you how frustrating this is because I’m almost an adult. My boyfriend is extremely patient with me and I want to tell him the truth about my body. I also can’t afford to go to a clinic for blood work or herpes/STDs test because I still live with my mother. My question is, is it possible for my molester to have spread this disease with touching, kissing, and dry grinding?

  129. ... says:

    About 2 months ago i was in the shower and when i washed my vagina i experienced some pain there were no bumbs no sores no nothing last month i ggot a sore on my vagina somewhat like i i scratched myself while bathing i didnt really pay it much mind because it wasnt bothering me as time went on i my vagina would itch alot and i just thought maybe i was getting a yeast infection but the yeast infection never came as i took my showers and washed myself the sore started to burn a little time after that another sore came i didnt pay that one any mind either because i thought well maybe im using the wrong soap tissue or maybe even the wrong detergents so after changing all those things the sores still remained so i just decided to go to the hospital the doctor asked me what was i in for and i told him sores on my vaginal area he looked at them and told me i had herpes i told my boyfriend and he said he’s never had bumps or anything on his penis should i go get retested and if i have it and we never use protection does that mean he has it?

    • Anonymous says:

      My ex had it for awhile and didnt have any sores but he gave it to me and i broke out the same way u did…. or you could have had it and didnt know it and that was your first breakout. If thas the case he has a 50/50 chance in having the virus or not.

    • Shygirl31 says:

      Had the same issue. Jus was told i have hsv 2 and 1. Ive never had any symptoms. Last week i thought i cut myself shaving. Went to the dr went it scabbed up. He said it wasnt herpes. I got a blood test and it said i have it. I’m 4mths pregnant and engaged. Dont know how to tell my man. Not sure if i gave it to him or the other way around

  130. Anonymous says:

    Hello i just had oral sex with my partner with a herpe lip could he get herpe on his genital easily?

  131. deedee says:

    My husband and I both have both types of herpes, oral and genital. We now have a new baby and are concerned about spreading the virus to her thru kissing and loving on her. Please help.

  132. Anonymous says:

    I haven’t had any sexual contact ever (I’m 13) but I think I might had herpes can someone tell me if this is possible? I’ve looked everywhere and it doesn’t say ANYTHING!

    • e says:

      you probably contracted hsv-1 from a relative kissing you as a child. i did. it’s not “real” herpes as is contracted from sexual activity. dont freak out. just do not have oral/sexual contact with people when you have a “cold sore”….

  133. Not so innocent says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. We’ve never had any sexual partners before. We’re both our firsts. Last week I was in pain, I couldn’t sit properly nor walk. I was daignosed with H-2. Can somebody please tell me the possible way I got this?

  134. Anonymous says:

    Well I have been married 13 years and I just found out I may have it. First it didn’t hit me then I said I would kill my husband. But I don’t know if I had it or he gave it to me. I m going to praise God still because he is in control of my life.

  135. Wakaka says:

    if most people who have herpes dont know they have it then how can they estimate how many have it? My guess is waaaay more people have it than official numbers reveal. This is assumed in part that most std testing doesn’t even include hsv test unless requested. Bottom line is it is way overblown and stigmatized thanks to irresponsible aholes like apatow and many others in Hollywood who think it’s fun to joke and shame about a minor condition that most people have anyway.

  136. Scarred Mommy says:

    I just found out i have herpes, i am scared i may have given it to my 4 year old by kissing her… I dont know how long ive had it never had an out break. can any one please answer my question. Because being a kid she always drinks my drinks and eats my food. we always kiss on the lips and some times i chew on her cheeks when playing. now im scared to death!!!

  137. Hi says:

    Just to let you know, when I first found out I had the virus I did a lot of research and recall seeing that when giving birth if the mother has herpies it can be passed to the baby you might wanna look into that if there is know other explanation (I might be wrong though was a while ago I read that)

  138. Curious says:

    I was diagnosed with type 2 almost a year ago. My boyfriend gave it to me without knowing he had it from an ex. Ive been on suppressive therapy the past couple months because I was having breakouts often due to stress but my boyfriend doesnt take medicine because he hasnt had more than one breakout. My question is, can either one of us contract oral herpes since we both already have the virus in our system?

  139. Hello says:

    Herpes is a state of mind that you must conquer with suppressive therapy fruit vegetables and positivity.

  140. Scared mommie2 says:

    I feel the same way i have a 4 yr old son and im wondering if ice passed it to him and i pray i haven’t. Not only do i not want the virus i definitely dont want to mess up my childs life with herpes

  141. Karen says:

    I have hsv1 genitally. Is it possible for me to pass it to someone by kissing if I have never had symptoms orally? My pants stayed 100% on.

  142. Confused says:

    Hi, I am curious, I was diagnosed with type 2, 3 years ago. The man i assume I got it from has not had any symptoms we can tell. I constantly have outbreaks. Been on antivirals for the entire time.
    Does this mean he definitely has it? He seems to be indenial he does not.
    But the outbreaks occure between 3 to 7 days after we have sex.
    Just want this cleared up. Thanking yous.

  143. Shay says:

    My ex bf cheated on me and gave me oral and genital herpes Nov. 2014. Well that’s what my OB told me. I took Acyclovir twice a day everyday. I haven’t had sex since Nov. 2014. I’m single. I really like this guy and we want to have fwbs. but idk really if I have herpes or if not or if it was only shingles? I haven’t had cold sores. I only had one genital outbreak that was in Nov. 2014. I haven’t had sex with him yet or anyone. I want a normal life. My ex is engaged he said him and his fiance got checked out last summer and they have nothing. I wasn’t sleeping with anyone but him then and before him one guy that was Aug 2014-Oct. 2014. When my ob called me then she said it was new that I just got it.

  144. Anonymous says:

    I was wondering, since I have been diagnosed I have had aching legs, does anyone else get this ?. My muscles and joints get really achy either sitting or being active.

  145. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know what to do I haven been tested positive for hsv2 and had no systems at all. Found out when I got blood work done for my pregnancy. Worried and scared my baby will get it at birth. Have no clue how I got it my husband has no systems at all just had a cold sore a month ago could that cause me to get it if he performed oral sex

  146. I was diagnosed 4yrs ago. Was out with a close friend whom ive been avoiding making sexual contact with having fun drinking. One drink to many and I broke the rules,heat of the moment,we never made it out the parking lot! No protection at that… Im in the healing stage of an outbreak! How likely is it ive infected her. Haven’t slept good for 2days, dont think she could handle it,dont want to hurt, lose my friend or change her life in such a negative way. Nobody to talk to looking for honest OPINION! Such a beautiful experience kills me everytime I think about it. Ive died a thousand times already!!!

  147. Stephie says:

    I was diagnosed in 2008 when I had an outbreak during pregnancy. I tested positive for both Types 1 & 2. At first, I was terrified like most of you. I realized I’d been somewhat symptomatic for years, but never knew. Even though I’ve been STD tested at least annually since age 18,unless you specifically ask for HSV & HIV/AIDS tests, they won’t be done unless you are symptomatic when you have your exam. My viral load was high enough to indicate I’d actually had it for many years. I did have my daughter on time without any HSV related complications. Yes, she was tested at birth, and during wellness visits at least once a year until she was three to be certain. I was honest with her (phenomenal) pediatrician about my status, and she never judge me or my precautions/fear for my baby. She never tested positive, thank God.

    It can take MONTHS, or even YEARS, to become symptomatic. You cannot automatically assume it is your current or most recent partner, unless you know for a fact that he/she is positive.

    Fortunately, my OB/GYN was also awesome, and we sat down and logged the events over the years that could have been symptoms and traced it back to a rape 9 years prior.

    That said, it h has NEVER hindered my romantic or sexual life. I’ve only dated one other person that was positive. All others have been negative, and I always insist they get tested before we’re intimate so we know what precautions we need to take. I did contact all partners from that timeframe that I still kept in touch with, shared this information, and asked them to get tested. NONE were positive, including my first husband and long term relationships where condoms hadn’t been used. (But that is NOT permission to go unprotected with everyone you meet!)

    The only times I’ve had frequent outbreaks were during my pregnancy and chemo. Otherwise, I have 1-2 outbreaks a year, unless I’m going through something incredibly stressful, like my recent divorce (which had nothing to do with my status).I do take Valtrex on a suppression regimen (i.e. daily), and I took a break from sex for a while to learn how my body responds to this condition. I kept a log, and when I had an outbreak, I’d document all possible triggers and prodrome symptoms, then compare the entries. I learned that when I had tingling, and possibly a little itching or tenderness in a certain spot, it was likely that I would have an outbreak at that spot develope within the next 2-3 days. Even if it doesn’t result in a full outbreak, it’s likely I’m shedding, so I take my safety measures. I also learned that high stress levels and exposure to most latex condoms were triggers (latex allergy). There are wonderful latex free options available, now. They’ve come a long way. When I notice potential symptoms (and I’m hyper-aware), sex stops immediately (even if we use condoms).

    Remember that it’s more common than most people realize, and more positive people are unaware of their status than those that know. Don’t be afraid to get tested. If you know for sure, you can significantly reduce exposing your partner, just by taking the right precautions.

    The best advice I would give anyone that is positive is to educate yourself and ALWAYS BE HONEST. Your status WILL be a deal-breaker for some people (who are likely people that wouldn’t stand by you through true adversity, anyway. I now consider it one of my screening tools!) Once I’m in a situation where mutual romantic interest is established, but BEFORE we are intimate, I tell them. I’m also able to share my probable source, but not everyone has this luxury. If they aren’t familiar with the condition, take the opportunity to educate them. Share the statics of it’s occurrence and the percent of people unaware of their status. Share your treatment regimen. Let them know how in tune with your body you are, the precautions you need to take, and discuss how you would handle situations when an outbreak is possible. Then, let them decide. If they need a few days to think about and/or research it, give them that time without falling off the deep end that it might be an issue. If it is going to be a problem, better to found out early, before you get wholly emotionally invested. If they want to learn more, be able to give them a few reliable sources of information to get them started (and, no, Wikipedia is not a reliable source). You never know…this potential partner could also be positive, but not know how to start the conversation, either.

    Even almost 8 years of knowing I’m positive, I still get anxiety about telling a new partner. That said, I have found the best way (for me) to share this information. I start the conversation something like this: “Since we’ve both expressed interest in persuing

    • Stephie says:

      …oops, hit ‘Submit’ accidentally.

      Even almost 8 years of knowing I’m positive, I still get anxiety about telling a new partner. That said, I have found the best way (for me) to share this information. I start the conversation something like this: “Since we’ve both expressed interest in pursuing something together, I want to share a health condition I have wit you. This would have an effect on certain aspects of our relationship. If this is more than you want to deal with, I understand completely, and I won’t be offended. In 2008, I found out I was HSV 1 & 2 positive, which is herpes. I’ve been on suppressive therapy the entire time, and rarely have any issues. I have taken time to learn how my body reacts to this virus, and how my body warns me of potential outbreaks. My top responsibility is to protect my partner, and I take this responsibility seriously. Anytime I began to experience any symptoms of a possible outbreak, sex is off-limits until a few days after I’m completely symptom-free, and I will always be honest with you when this happens. If /when I do experience any symptoms, I have access to additional treatment methods to address the issue. It is possible to spread the virus between outbreaks. This is called asymptomatic shedding, but being on suppressive therapy greatly reduces this risk. Also, if, for any reason, I have to go without the medication I take for suppressive therapy, there will be no sex until I’ve been back on it for a few days, dependant on how long I’m without the medication. …” Then, I share some statistics, facts, and share the truth about common misconceptions about the condition. I ask if they have any questions, and offer them resources to learn more if they want them.

      Instead of ruining every relationship you could ever have, I’ve learned it’s not anecessary issue for most people. This is especially true when you
      1) show you’re educated about your status and how to manage it to the best of your ability;
      2) that you are genuinely committed to protecting them from exposure to the best of your ability;
      3) that you respect them and care enough to let THEM decide if/how they want to proceed; and
      4) (the most important of all) that you’re willing to be open and honest, even about the hard stuff.

      You’d been amazed to discover your honesty about your status is more likely to strengthen your relationship than destroy it. It’s how you handle it that will decide this. If you wait forever to tell them, long after they’ve been unknowingly exposed, you’re just building an environment of distrust. If you lie about this (yes, nondisclosure counts as a lie), then what else would you be willing to lie about?

      If you have a good friend (especially one of the same sex of your preferred romantic partners) that you can share your status with, you can probably ask them to help you practice disclosing this to potential partners. Then, they can give you feedback about how what you’re saying is coming across, and help fix that doesn’t feel right. Then, when the time comes to tell someone you like, you’ll be ready!


  148. Mike says:

    I got diagnosed with hsv 2 a month ago and have been taking avacyclovir for it. It seems to make me feel better but I keep having severe headaches all the time. Why? And what can I do? Please advise.

  149. Neeche says:

    I dont know what to do, i had sex with my ex who have been cheating on me since we been together. At that time he left us me and our 1 year old baby to be with a prostitutes almost two months he came home and saying he missed me so much and he want to get back with me. We had sex that night without me knowing he got someting going on down there, he dont even give me a choice.only if i have known that he got that stuff i wont even let him touch me, but because his greedy for sex it doesnt matter or cares what would be the other person will feel. I found out by the next day when he asked me to check and clean it up for him,OMG ITS SMELLS SO BAD and i freaked out and run to the nearest clinic..and aftr that i was depressed and stressed thinking how dirty i am and how am i going to m9ve on with my life. And this man continue having sex with diff girls (prostitutes)and blamed me that i was the one who gave it to him but he is the one who been sleeping around..the worst is his tell8ng our friends about it and blamed it on me..omg i wanted to kill him that day when i found out one of our friend told me,,i cant beleived him …he ruined my lufe and name, abut not im still hoping and pray tgat God will give me a miracle coz i do t want this and so tired already having breakouts and stuff plus i hve a beautifull baby and so scared i might give it to her…but now i kinda accept it and start talking to people online and meet some of them in public.

    I meet some guys on the dating site and i was very honest to them about what ive got, they ok with it they dont care what ive got, most guys told me they will accept it and the important is im being honest to them about it.. but still i am so scared having relationship with one of them coz he might use ut against me and i dont want to be in the situation with my ex before…

  150. Maddox says:

    I honestly don’t know where to start……Today I received the dreadful call, the call that will now box me into societal stigma and perceptions…. The call that makes you argue yourself on issues such as self worth, happiness, life and death. Those simple yet anger envoking words..”you’ve tested positive for herpes simplex virus 2″. At first I couldn’t believe it. How? When? Who? What? Immediately ran across my mind. At first I felt as if I was being punished for something I did or didn’t do. Lack of obedience perhaps? Or maybe just a simple wake up call? I don’t know about you guys but I’m angry. Hell im beyond angry. I’m boiling over in emotions some of which are scary to describe. How could this be? I’ve always been careful, cautious, and aware? How could I have not paid attention? Well somewhere down the line this indeed proves I wasn’t so observant after all. I neglected my observant and careful nature for minutes or hours of “fun”. I looked at myself in the mirror for what seems to be an eternity shouting at myself ” I hate you” “I hate everything about you” ” I hate your face” “I hate your looks” ” I hate what you’ve done to yourself” ” why can’t you do things right” ” why is it so hard to follow your plans”. I told myself this repeatedly smashing my bathroom mirror blood now steaming down the sides of my hands. I wish to leave peacefully no trace of any wrongdoing. Quietly like the light breeze before the storm. I wish to go. I want to go….it’s important for me to go…

    (Thanks for letting me vent)

  151. Xper1 says:

    I’m about to kiss a girl will I get herpes

  152. jmkess says:

    Hello, I just found out I have both HSV 1 and 2. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years and I am positive he is not cheating. I have had 1 bump near my vagina, but thought it was an ingrown hair. Besides this, I haven’t had any outbreaks such as the ones described above. How do I tell my significant other without him thinking I cheated? He will definitely leave me :(

  153. Anonymous says:

    I just wanted recently got diagnosed with 1&2 about three days ago.. I feel so alone no I told my boyfriend I have been with for almost 3 years abh he freaked out he’s getting tested on Thursday but he’s not coming around me, he just ones asked me how I was doing via text msg.. I feel so alone I told my best friend and every since then I wanna stay on the phone with her almost 24-7 I’m feel ashamed there is no way to ever let my family know.. I miss my old life so much, I wanna make some friends they know or cab relate to my situation

  154. Anonymous says:

    Recently got tested and I’m positive in 1&2. Scared but more mainly mad that my gyno never tested me when I was pregnant after two kids and recently I had intercourse with an ex that made me want to check myself after and got the news back. So idk if I recently got it or been having it so ashamed. Ugh.

  155. Anonymous says:

    I have had herpes sense I was 17 years old, I am now 23. It has took me a very long time to accept and love myself again, I also fell into a huge depression. I have had one outbreak over the past six years. My know fiancé has been my rock he stayed even though I found out when I was with him. I no longer feel ashamed because herpes does not define who you are as a human being. The one thing that does terrify me is that I would love to be a mother someday.

    • La'Mya says:

      I want to be a mother someday too! I found out that I had one and two when I was 18! Like I sat in my room and cried EVERY SINGLE DAY! But my friend was there to make me happy! And he told me, like don’t get sick, and don’t sit around and eat donuts! So, I been active and trying to be as active as possible.

      But as far as the “SICKNESS” passing on to the baby, Be Careful! Also the baby will be fine if it is a C-Section!

  156. houssam says:

    hi , I have herpes 2 since 9 months ago , doctor said that I cant do relation with my wife without condom , I never do that in whole my life and there are some restrictions that u shall follow to avoid transmition the virus to your wife which really make me very bad and disappointed for sharing my sexual life with wife in healthy mood .

    simply I am not happy for doing this , what shall I do ?? any helps guys I feel I am losing my family

  157. Anonymous says:

    I just wanna know will it effect your life style as in work? Really ain’t scared of having it just scared of losing a great job over it?

  158. A says:

    I found out when I was 14. (Please don’t judge)
    It was very hard. I was scared. My mother was with me she I found out. I also found out the same day I was pregnant and I got the outbreak from my HCG Levels going up my body wasn’t use to. I have since gotten married an my husband doesn’t care. (Also my baby daddy) I am currently 19. It honestly feels like the end of the world. And when I found out I let him know. He was tested, and his test wa Negative. He’s since been tested since this was in 2011 and still is negative. I have never had an outbreak since then.

  159. Anonymous says:

    Hi, I don’t know if I have herpes but I am scared, Ive only been with one person ever, and this person I have been with for years. It started like two months ago I had three little bumps that started to itch and bleed on my butt, they did burn, it left and two came back and itch like a week ago but are not bleeding. But I shaved back there so I don’t know, I’m confused and afraid to get tested. It would be really sad to get this after committing to one person, I’m sad.

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