Your Safer Sex Toolbox
Explore ways to make sex safer and communicate with your sexual partners about your expectations and boundaries.
Talking about Condoms with Your Partner
It’s about respect – and responsibility – for yourself and your partner. Before deciding to have sex it pays to think about protecting yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You’ve already taken a big step by looking for answers to your questions and getting the facts.
If you choose to be sexually active, using condoms correctly and consistently is a key way to protect your sexual health. Don’t be shy to talk with your partner about safer sex and condoms: For both of you, this is one of the most important conversations you can have. It’s also one of the smartest!
How to talk with your partner about condoms and safer sex
- Sometimes people don’t like to use protection for sex, so it can be helpful to think about how you might respond if you’re ever with a partner who doesn’t want to use a condom. Remember, you have a right to protect yourself and your health, and using condoms is a way to take care of your partner too – so you’re not being selfish at all.
- Talk this over with your partner before you start to have sex. The two of you might even want to select and buy condoms together. When it’s hot and heavy it might be easy to have sex without a condom “just this once.”
- Plan ahead and have condoms with you if you think you might want to have sex. Don’t rely on your partner to have condoms.
A partner might have specific reasons for not wanting to use condoms. Look over this list to get ideas about how to respond if you ever feel pressured to have sex without a condom:
“I don't like sex as much with a condom. It doesn't feel the same.”
“This is the only way I feel comfortable having sex but believe me, it’ll still be good even with protection! And it lets us both just focus on each other instead of worrying about all that other stuff…”
“I don't have any kind of disease! Don't you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you, but anyone can have an STI and not even know it. This is just a way to take care of both of us.”
“I didn't bring any condoms.”
“I have some, right here.”
“I don't know how to use them.”
“I can show you – want me to put it on for you?”
“Let's just do it without a condom this time.”
“It only takes one time to get pregnant or to get an STI. I just can’t have sex unless I know I’m as safe as I can be.”
“No one else makes me use a condom!”
“This is for both of us…and I won’t have sex without protection. Let me show you how good it can be – even with a condom.”
“I'm [or you're] on the pill.”
“But that doesn’t protect us from STIs, so I still want to be safe, for both of us.”
More to Explore
All About Condoms
Currently, condoms are the only widely available, proven method for reducing transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during sex. Condoms work.
Could A Vaccine You Probably Already Have Protect Against Gonorrhea?
There’s potential good news in gonorrhea prevention as a series of studies suggests that certain meningococcal B (MenB) vaccines can reduce the risk of gonorrhea.
New Recommendations to Make IUD Insertion Less Painful
There is new guidance on pain management for IUD insertion and acknowledgement that providers often underestimate the pain patients feel during their procedures.
Non-Hormonal Contraception Options
Non-hormonal contraceptive methods fall into a few categories. These include barrier methods and surgical options.
The Birth Control Pill May Protect Female Athletes from Knee Injuries
There’s new research to suggest that the birth control pill can protect female athletes from ACL tears which is one of the most common knee injuries. While this may sound far-fetched, the science behind it is very interesting.